How i will rule Panera Bread with $1.40
Anyone who knows me will tell you that i'm a HUGE fan of Panera Bread. Their plethora of breakfast goodies are extremely tasty, and prices for the most part decent. There is one bone, however, i need to pick with them, and that's the price of their cream cheese. It is sinfully price gouging, and plain and simply - a rip off.
Although i've known for a while that it was a bit more to order a bagel w/ cream cheese, than w/out, i had no idea HOW MUCH of a difference it was. Next time you roll into one, check out their prices for bagels. You will notice the price of one w/out any spread (cream cheese, butter, etc) costs $0.79. not bad. Now, look for the price with the spread: $2.19!!!!
You're telling me that a teaspoon of cream cheese costs $1.40? No siree bob, that's crazy talk. There's no way in hell this white goodness is worth almost DOUBLE the price of the plump and beautiful bagel.
This is where my genius idea comes in, and i change the world. Since complaining won't change anything (although it does feel good) i have decided to put my money where my mouth is. This morning I paid my 79 cents (83¢ w/ tax), brought my toasted blueberry bagel home, and lathered it up w/ my own cream cheese. BAM, take that!
THEN, and this is a very important "then", I walked down the street and used this $1 from the savings to purchase a mega-millions lottery ticket. I will then do the following:
- Win the $135 million tomorrow
- Take the lump sum of $80 cash
- Call up my brokerage firm
- And spend every last penny on PNRA (Panera stock).
This will give me controlling interest in the company, allowing me to dutifully change the price of their cream cheese to $0.25. This simple action will make all that is wrong in this world right, and giving me the "smartest person alive" award :)
I told you it was genius.
Although i've known for a while that it was a bit more to order a bagel w/ cream cheese, than w/out, i had no idea HOW MUCH of a difference it was. Next time you roll into one, check out their prices for bagels. You will notice the price of one w/out any spread (cream cheese, butter, etc) costs $0.79. not bad. Now, look for the price with the spread: $2.19!!!!
You're telling me that a teaspoon of cream cheese costs $1.40? No siree bob, that's crazy talk. There's no way in hell this white goodness is worth almost DOUBLE the price of the plump and beautiful bagel.
This is where my genius idea comes in, and i change the world. Since complaining won't change anything (although it does feel good) i have decided to put my money where my mouth is. This morning I paid my 79 cents (83¢ w/ tax), brought my toasted blueberry bagel home, and lathered it up w/ my own cream cheese. BAM, take that!
THEN, and this is a very important "then", I walked down the street and used this $1 from the savings to purchase a mega-millions lottery ticket. I will then do the following:
- Win the $135 million tomorrow
- Take the lump sum of $80 cash
- Call up my brokerage firm
- And spend every last penny on PNRA (Panera stock).
This will give me controlling interest in the company, allowing me to dutifully change the price of their cream cheese to $0.25. This simple action will make all that is wrong in this world right, and giving me the "smartest person alive" award :)
I told you it was genius.
Labels: cockamamy indeed
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posted by J. Money at
1:10 PM
6 Comments:
I do that with tea. .. as in buy the hot water for $0.50 (if I can't access hot water on my own), and bring my own tea bag
Ha! That is hilarious, you should take your winnings and become a major stock owner in Panera. Btw, I LOVE panera's bagels. So many great choices and always so good.
I will only agree with you as long as you continue offering the Bacon Turkey Bravo and Baked Potato Soup. Only then will it be truly genius.
Love it!
Hello everyone!
Fab Broke - GREAT thinking! i will steal that idea of yours and put it in my pocket.
asgreen - i'm working on it!
tom - deal. and i will run all menu changes by you first to make sure happiness continues!
ginger - :)
J. Savings - Don't be stupid in Vegas!
Too funny!!!
We don't have those up here and I drove by one in Augusta, ME but didn't go in... next time I will for sure!!
Good for you for figuring out the huge price difference and doing something about it!!
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