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I’m back, and ready to spill the beans baby!

by J. Money on Thursday, June 12, 2008

resortWhew! From saying “I Do”, to jumping in waterfalls, it’s been quite an adventure lately – but my goodness was it a helluva good time :)

And the best part? Being back on U.S. soil and catching up on all the juicy gossip we’ve missed!

We literally have hundreds of emails and pictures to catch up on, and i’ll be milking this attention while i can ;) haha…

But, as i sip on my overpriced yet DEARLY missed Panera coffee (which i still have yet to conquer), the time has come to talk turkey. This ain’t no personal blog…although it would be much more interesting posting up all our drunken, crazy, wild, party pics ;)

So, in an effort to spew all of the thoughts swirling around in my mind, here is a breakdown of the categories i’d liked to share:

Stuff NEVER to Buy on Resorts
Sure you can go “into town” and pick up some of this stuff for a quarter of the price, but unless you have a killer instinct (aka know when you’re getting ripped off and/or stalked by the beggars) and you wanna blow $10 for a cab ride each way, you’re pretty much screwed.

  • Deodorant: $8.50! And this was for one of those “mini” travel size ones!
  • Magazines: $12.00! This was for the only copy of Cosmo they had. Not that i’d ever read it (unless you count browsing all of the hottie pictures ;) ), but my damness that’s expensive. You could also pick up Good Housekeeping for $9.00, which was pretty random.
  • Straw hats: $45.00 – $85.00! Cowboy hats, Panama Jack hats, you name it…

5 Reasons to go to a Sandals/Beaches Resort
There are a butt-load of reasons to go with a resort style place, but here were our top picks.

  1. All you can eat! Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, you name it.
  2. All you can drink! Beer, Wine, Liquor, whatever your poison.
  3. Private-ish beaches all around! Lay out and get tan without any crazy “locals” peddling their goods at ya.
  4. Community pools, games, fun! Live bands almost every night, piano bars, talent shows, a whole mess of vacation goodness :)
  5. Don’t have to spend a dime while you’re there! All your main things are taken care of w/ the all-inclusiveness. Be warned though, it sure ain’t easy turning down all those “extras” all around you.

5 Reasons NOT to go to a Sandals/Beaches Resort
While those top reasons sure were sexy, you also gotta play devil’s advocate on this one.

  1. The hefty price tag – We spent around $4,100 for 8 days/nights, NOT including plane tickets (thank hotness for my boss hooking us up again w/ first class tickets all the way!) You get those awesome benefits I showed above, but it def. hurts the wallet either way.
  2. All you can eat & drink! Haha … while it’s fun as hell, you KNOW you’ll put on some pounds with this one ;) It’s hard to keep count of how many drinks you pound down…believe me.
  3. Their “resort credit card” – Since everything you buy (souvenirs, golf, island adventures, etc) must be put on this card they give to you during check in, it’s hard to keep track of it all. You can easily blow through some greenbacks.
  4. Having to dress up at times – Sure there are 7+ restaurants on these resorts, but if you only brought tee’s and flip flops, you’ll only be allowed into half of them. It was okay after I got used to it, but the bathing suit was the only thing i wanted to wear most of the time ;)
  5. Extra costs for tours & sightseeing – It’s bad enough spending the 4k+ on the resort itself, but there’s only so much you can do on the beach before you get antsy. We got a GREAT deal on a 6 hour island tour for $80 a piece (Joe Knows! Best tour guide E-V-E-R), but you gotta check around or you could spend hundreds when the week’s over.

Lastly, Never Wear Camouflage Stuff.
I learned this the hard way as I tried to get through Customs w/ camo shorts on ;) Although they took it easy on me and just forced me to change, they very well could have stripped me down in front of everyone, and then thrown me in jail for a day! (I don’t recommend testing them)

Apparently this is a big no-no on the island, and I was just a “stupid American”. After thugs were robbing islanders, dressed as the military, the governments passed a law forbidding any camouflage gear whatsoever. Oops.

That’s it for now kiddies. As the alcohol clears and more fun-ness comes to mind, I’ll be sure to post them up. I leave you now with the best slogan ever, courtesy a la Caribbean – “No Pressure, No Problem!”


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