I've been asked for money 3 times within 24 hours! wtf?
Do i have a sign on me saying, "i hate money"? I know i just wrote about how i'll be donating $25 every month now, but it seems like people are coming out of the woodwork thinking i'm some sort of p.i.m.p. now. And to clarify, i'm not...yet ;)
But for the second morning in a row now, i have literally been stopped in my tracks and asked for money by two different homeless people. I've given crazy amounts in the past to them (like $10 even), but it really depends on my mood and the manner in which i get approached that determines the outcome. And these 2 possible phonies (i really don't think they were homeless) were pretty freakin' abrasive.
And then we have the 3rd time at the grocery store - Safeway to be exact. Now this is totally different than people coming off the street asking you for change, but it's STILL someone asking for money. And even more important to remember, is that it has occured every single visit for the past 8-9 months now.
It usually goes something like this:
Well, in all honesty i'm 0 for 3 during all of this. I'd like to say that i gave in at least once and helped someone out, but sadly i just got more irked as the day progressed. Isn't that interesting though? Like, had they hit me up on wednesday or friday the odds would have been a good 80% better than i'd have given in to a majority of them!
Oh well, I'm still feeling pretty good about my new $25 donation budget, so it's all good. I guarantee i'll be asked at least 4 more times this week anways, so i could always make up for it if it really bothers me. Those f'ers ;)
But for the second morning in a row now, i have literally been stopped in my tracks and asked for money by two different homeless people. I've given crazy amounts in the past to them (like $10 even), but it really depends on my mood and the manner in which i get approached that determines the outcome. And these 2 possible phonies (i really don't think they were homeless) were pretty freakin' abrasive.
And then we have the 3rd time at the grocery store - Safeway to be exact. Now this is totally different than people coming off the street asking you for change, but it's STILL someone asking for money. And even more important to remember, is that it has occured every single visit for the past 8-9 months now.
It usually goes something like this:
- Cashier: "Hello! Would you like to help out the Children blah blah blah Cause by donating a $1.00 to your total?" (Pleeeeeease! i act like i don't care, but i REALLY want you to say yes)
- Me: "Yeah, sure" (whew, there's like 5 people behind us listening to our answer! we HAVE to say yes, or God forbid we're looked down upon, right? i mean, i live around all these people.)
- Cashier: "Thanks, you're awesome!" (YES, one more dollar to help me beat out all the others and win that extra bonus/time off/small tv)
- Me: "I know." haha... nah, i actually just smile in agreeance.
Well, in all honesty i'm 0 for 3 during all of this. I'd like to say that i gave in at least once and helped someone out, but sadly i just got more irked as the day progressed. Isn't that interesting though? Like, had they hit me up on wednesday or friday the odds would have been a good 80% better than i'd have given in to a majority of them!
Oh well, I'm still feeling pretty good about my new $25 donation budget, so it's all good. I guarantee i'll be asked at least 4 more times this week anways, so i could always make up for it if it really bothers me. Those f'ers ;)
Labels: charity, cockamamy indeed
posted by J. Money at
10:46 AM
10 Comments:
I just have a policy that I do not give money to anyone for any reason while I am out.
I feel comfortable with my current level of charitable giving with respect to my household income.
But giving money when you're out there just leads you to give in to social pressure and make decisions that you might not want.
I definitely like your $25 donation budget - I think that's a good idea and allows you to have requests like this not sink your budget but you still want to be able to spend your $25 in the way that it will do the most good.
Might I recommend coming up with a few snide comments like "No thanks I hate kids" for situations like you were at in the grocery store :-)
You don't have to say yes because of what people will think. Do you think all those people are going to say yes? I highly doubt it. Besides, who cares what they think. I think at $25 a month to donations is more than most people.
I live in NYC, and I used to have two favorite homeless men in my neighborhood whom I'd give $1 to whenever I bumped into them. However, one of them has become to "expectant" and grumbles if the handful of change I give him has too many pennies. So now I avoid him most of the time and patronize just one vagrant, who only asks for money when he's putting together a meal.
As for the give-at-the-register stuff, I don't fret over public opinion. If it's $1, I do it. If it's more, I go home and check out the cause on CharityNavigator.org to see how well they use donations. Sometimes I find a great new (to me) charity that way.
Katie
cheapcharity.blogspot.com
I just wanted to say that I stumbled across your blog just a few minutes ago.. trying to get some budgeting advice from real people.. and you intrigue me.. just a little FYI.
I don't think that you need to give money in any of these situations if you don't want to. However, I disagree with Ashley who wrote that $25 is more than most people give. I actually think based on all of the expenditures you blog about and the generous gifts that have been sent your way, $25 is a very small amount. Most people I know are not as well off as you and give much more than that. However, you are very generous with wedding presents so maybe in the end it evens out.
four magic words:
"not today, thank you"
say it with honesty, confidence, and a smile and you'll come off looking smooth and respectful. Mrs. PT taught me that one.
First of all in response to Cat... charity is personal thing. I don't think YOU have any right to judge how another person spends their money.
Anyhoo..... I don't like to give money at the till. Every time I've been asked to give money to a local food back I ask "What food bank will the money be given to?". I always get the same response... "Um.. I don't know. Nobodies ever asked that before."
I prefer to give time or things to charity instead of money.
@dan - hahah, oh man snide comments rock. unfort. i don't have the balls to ever spew them, but i like the way you think :) Appreciate your thoughts.
@ashley - yeah, it's odd - sometimes i don't care at all, and then others it gets me. i guess sometimes just spending that $1 to not think about it does the trick sometimes.
@katie - thx for the great info! and that blows about that one homless guy, what a mess. i had a similar "friend" in NYC back in the day too, but eventually he left and went to a new hangout so that was that.
@Mommy2SerenityL - wonderful! i'm so glad you enjoy the blog, i'd be lying if i didn't say it feels good hearing it ;) i'll be sure to check out your blog too!
@Cat - you sure are an interesting one. While i have to go with Dolly iris on the whole judging thing, it does make blogging more fun! you get a whole bunch of opionions that you may like or dislike, so it's always appreciated.
While i'm sure many people give thousands more than i do, the point isn't really in "keeping up" with others, but more about what's best, and comfortable, for ME. Right now, i can only comfortablly dish out $25 a month. it may, or may not, change over time, but it works. you also have to keep in mind that there's a lot of things that i don't write about on here.
@PT - Oooh, i like that. Thank you sir, i'm def. gonna give that a shot.
@dolly iris - Thanks for watchin' out for a brother ;) And to be honest i've never actually asked that before, but that IS pretty interesting.
You blogged about spending $40.00 on water the post written directly before this one - that was sort of where my argument came from: $40.00 for water, $25.00 for world peace/starving children/etc.
Here are the averages for American charity: "In the year 2000, families earning $20,000 or less gave an average of about $450 to charity (2.25%), while families earning more than $100,000 gave away an average of a bit more than $3,000 (3%)."
In your budget you do not list charitable giving unless we assume $25.00 from your credit card budget labeled "Gifts" is going towards charity. So the max amount budgeted is $50/month or $600/year ($25 from gifts and $25 blogged about earlier). You also list your take home pay and if we did the math, (keep in mind, I'm, using take home pay, so the percentage will be higher than it should) charity is 1.4%.
I'm sorry if I sounded judgemental, maybe I am. (Most likely I am about this topic.) Many people our age (mid-20s) plan to donate money once they are "ahead" not realizing that we are far ahead right now and unless you make it a priority, helping others will never happen. My personal finance strategy - pay myself first (savings), pay my charitable donations (and I do not attend church, so the you give to a church argument is lost) and live on the rest.
Just a different view point (and I'm not pretending to have all the facts - perhaps you don't blog about charity - I would be shocked to find that you don't though based on all of the other topics you cover and the post on the $25.00/month). I enjoy your blog - just didn't think a pat on the back was deserved for this post.
Touché! Very well put, i must say :) I always welcome your opinions, whether they praise me or not, so keep up the honesty!
You're right, my budget doesn't reflect it as yet, and it's about time i update it because it's a bit outdated (laziness on my part).
And while i wish i had the motivation and funds to poney up more right now, it's just gonna have to wait until i'm more comfortable with it all.
i WOULD, however, like to commend you on your own personal financial plan - a) for just HAVING one! and b) for having charties/giving back as your #2 in line. That's quite impressive.
Again, thx for your honesty.
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