We give $100 for all wedding presents now. Is that legit?
I mean, gifts shouldn't really "matter" in theory, but i know life dictates otherwise ;)I mention this (again) only because it's been coming up a few times with all our weddings we still have - from both "real" friends, and fellow bloggers and other internet folk.
We used to be hardcore fans of the whole registry phenomenon, but ever since we had our own wedding we're sooooooooooooo into giving money now!
Maybe it's cuz i'm a guy, or we got like 100+ gifts even BEFORE the wedding came, but there's something satisfying about getting piles of cold hard cash! (Esp. right after you spent a small fortune throwing the most expensive party of your entire life.)
So we've already decided that cash, or check, is the way to go now, but it's the AMOUNT to give that's up for discussion. Allow me to throw out a few variables here:
1. How many people is this gift covering?
If you go by yourself, do you cut the gift in half? Or does it not even matter as the gift is coming from your family or niche? I think etiquette says it depends on who exactly was invited, but i really don't know...in fact, i kinda just made that up right now ;) I feel that you should give the same no matter if you were invited by yourself, or if you AND your other half were invited. And if you're going on behalf of your entire family, let's say, maybe add a few dollars...i dunno, that's just what we've been doing.
2. How well do you know these soon to be newlyweds?
Is it like a distant cousin or someone you've only known for a month? Or are we talking about your brother from another mother kinda person? And, SHOULD that even matter? haha...you like how i say it matters, and then i turn around and question even that? i'm kinda wonky like that, you must excuse me.
I think there is definitely something to be said here though - If i'm going to a wedding because "i have to" (family related) I'd feel comfortable giving $80 for the Mrs. and I....maybe even $60 in all honesty. BUT, if we're talking about our bff, then i'd probably up the ante and dish out $100-$150 depending on my mood as i write the check ;)
3. Can you even afford to give a hefty amount?
This is probably the most important issue here. If you can't afford giving out $100 for each wedding, then surely don't do it. The happy couple loves just having you there, and while they will sit down and open up your present/money voucher at some point, they should be happy with whatever you give. And if they're not? F 'em. You came, and you cheered them on didn't you? it doesn't really matter though, it's not like you'd ever find out they thought your gift was too little ;)
If you can't afford to give a lot of money, or if you prefer not doing so anyways, then the next best thing (in my opinion) is hitting up Bed, Bath, and Beyond with a 20% off coupon! Everyone knows it's the perfect place to give a gift, and save a little while doing so. And hopefully they're registered there so you can get them something they actually want/need. But even not, give only what you can afford.
I think that about covers it...did i miss anything? When it comes down to it, there's no right or wrong answers here - everyone is different and has their own thoughts on this stuff. You gotta do whatever you and your wallet are comfortable with :) Now, it's time to get ready for our second half of Wedding Season! I sure hope I'll run into Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson!!!
posted by J. Money at
9:36 AM
9 Comments:
There is one "traditional" gift that I give to all (gotta have a sense of humor), in addition to whatever else I decide to give.
The amount of cash - or cost of gift - is based on how much I actually like the couple in question. It's just me, so I don't have to factor in extra for anyone else.
If you're going to the wedding, you probably know the people well enough to determine if they'll be offended by a gift of cash (and really, why would anyone be offended by that?).
BTW - I am sooo happy to see I'm not the only one who uses the word "wonky" - phew!
haha, yes you make some good non-random points there, i'm impressed :)
Any post that has any sort of reference to Wedding Crashers is good with me!!
I been to a few weddings this summer, I gave them cash b/c they request "No Box Gifts". Lame. They say that you should give the amount that it costs for one person at that wedding? I disagree. I think it is based on your relationship with the person and whatever you can afford to give them. Times are tough for everyone so there shouldnt be a set standard for something that could be so variable from person to person. Have a good weekend J Money.
It's funny, some people say giving money is so impersonal but I say that it always fits, never has to be returned and can be used for what the person needs the most. 20+ years latter we still are carrying around some perfectly useless wedding gifts. Oh well.
you forget too that if you are friends with the bride then you have probably already forked over a bridesmaid gift, and an engagement gift. these can all be factors on the 'actual' wedding gift. having a wedding is like a gift bonanzi!
We give an amount depending how well we know them and how much we like them :) Like one couple we weren't that close too we gave a $100 and then when my brother got married we gave them $250. So I do think it depends on how close you are. And we have also given gifts before when we didn't have the cash, expect we charged it (yikes).
you know, even after all this wedding present talk, we actually FORGOT to give it to them this weekend! haha....and by "forgot" i mean "too tipsy".
time to drop it in the mail :) which is another thing i find interesting with presents - getting them days, weeks, and even MONTHS after the wedding!
I don't think there are any right or wrongs when it comes to wedding gifts. Give whatever you think is appropriate regarding your relationship with the couple. I don't think that weddings are simply a gift free-for-all as a lot of people seem to think (and spend a lot of time getting bitter and twisted about), and no couple would want you to give more than you can comfortably afford. That said, I don't think I'd want to receive cash as a wedding gift, I'd rather something that would remind me of the giver everytime I used it. But maybe that's just me being old fashioned!
We used to give gifts off the registry but after getting married, we normally give cash AND a couple 20% off Bed bath and Beyond coupons. That way they pick up things they might not have gotten and buy more with the savings.
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