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We give $100 for all wedding presents now. Is that legit?

by J. Money on Friday, September 19, 2008

j. and the mrs. are wedding crashersI mean, gifts shouldn’t really “matter” in theory, but i know life dictates otherwise ;)

I mention this (again) only because it’s been coming up a few times with all our weddings we still have – from both “real” friends, and fellow bloggers and other internet folk.

We used to be hardcore fans of the whole registry phenomenon, but ever since we had our own wedding we’re sooooooooooooo into giving money now!

Maybe it’s cuz i’m a guy, or we got like 100+ gifts even BEFORE the wedding came, but there’s something satisfying about getting piles of cold hard cash! (Esp. right after you spent a small fortune throwing the most expensive party of your entire life.)

So we’ve already decided that cash, or check, is the way to go now, but it’s the AMOUNT to give that’s up for discussion. Allow me to throw out a few variables here:

1. How many people is this gift covering?
If you go by yourself, do you cut the gift in half? Or does it not even matter as the gift is coming from your family or niche? I think etiquette says it depends on who exactly was invited, but i really don’t know…in fact, i kinda just made that up right now ;) I feel that you should give the same no matter if you were invited by yourself, or if you AND your other half were invited. And if you’re going on behalf of your entire family, let’s say, maybe add a few dollars…i dunno, that’s just what we’ve been doing.

2. How well do you know these soon to be newlyweds?
Is it like a distant cousin or someone you’ve only known for a month? Or are we talking about your brother from another mother kinda person? And, SHOULD that even matter? haha…you like how i say it matters, and then i turn around and question even that? i’m kinda wonky like that, you must excuse me.

I think there is definitely something to be said here though – If i’m going to a wedding because “i have to” (family related) I’d feel comfortable giving $80 for the Mrs. and I….maybe even $60 in all honesty. BUT, if we’re talking about our bff, then i’d probably up the ante and dish out $100-$150 depending on my mood as i write the check ;)

3. Can you even afford to give a hefty amount?
This is probably the most important issue here. If you can’t afford giving out $100 for each wedding, then surely don’t do it. The happy couple loves just having you there, and while they will sit down and open up your present/money voucher at some point, they should be happy with whatever you give. And if they’re not? F ‘em. You came, and you cheered them on didn’t you? it doesn’t really matter though, it’s not like you’d ever find out they thought your gift was too little ;)

If you can’t afford to give a lot of money, or if you prefer not doing so anyways, then the next best thing (in my opinion) is hitting up Bed, Bath, and Beyond with a 20% off coupon! Everyone knows it’s the perfect place to give a gift, and save a little while doing so. And hopefully they’re registered there so you can get them something they actually want/need. But even not, give only what you can afford.

I think that about covers it…did i miss anything? When it comes down to it, there’s no right or wrong answers here – everyone is different and has their own thoughts on this stuff. You gotta do whatever you and your wallet are comfortable with :) Now, it’s time to get ready for our second half of Wedding Season! I sure hope I’ll run into Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson!!!


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