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If Budgets are Sexy, the Stock Market must be Smoking Hot!

by J. Money on Thursday, November 19, 2009

Crushin' on the Market[Guest post by Mr. Moneybags]

Don’t get me wrong, budgets are definitely attractive on their own merit, but if you were to line them up side-by-side next to stocks, it would be like comparing the attractiveness of Al Pacino to the attractiveness of Megan Fox. I mean, sure, Al Pacino is a rather cool and attractive old man but not many guys would give up one of their testicles to spend a night with him (see: Megan Fox).

And just like someone would have a massive case of approach anxiety when given the chance to advance upon Megan Fox (or any other equally hot creature), it seems that people are equally terrified when it comes to approaching the stock market.

Ever since I accidentally created the stock market in 12th century France while searching for a way to smuggle pilgrims across the border, I have noticed that people are more afraid of the stock market than they are of being viciously attacked by a pack of wild boars. If I can be completely honest: It pains me to see my wonderful creation be loathed so vehemently – which is precisely why I have decided to temporarily abdicate my secret cave (more commonly referred to as www.BigFatMoneybags.com) and clear up the bad name that investing and the stock market has gotten over the last few years via new venues (regards to J. Money).

Throughout my vast experience with the stock market, I have noticed that people use the same few excuses over and over again as to why they don’t invest their money in the stock market:

1. You don’t know enough about the stock market nor do you have an idea of where to start

It’s okay, it happens to the best of us. In fact, it even happened to our friendly neighborhood budgeter, J. Money. (J: true, but I am getting good at copying Warren Buffett!) Thankfully, this seemingly daunting problem is quite possibly the easiest out of all problems to solve.

I’ve noticed that the main reason people don’t go out of their way to learn more about the stock market (and other money matters for that matter) is because rather than utilizing the current educational tools that are available to them, people would rather run into incoming traffic with a paper bag over their heads (true story). Thankfully, great heroes such as the mighty Mr. Moneybags (that would be me) and J. Money exist, providing a seemingly dead subject matter with a breath of fresh air (a.k.a. humor and entertainment) while subsequently ridding the world of imbecility (and poverty).

If you have little-to-no understanding of the concept of stocks or the stock market then I would highly recommend you read the free eBook I have available on my site called “Welcome to the Stock Market!” And unless as a result of my guest post on this site, a catastrophic sequence of events leads to the implosion of the internet (or if J. Money permits) I will gladly post more guest articles educating you people as to the workings of the stock market. For now, if you have any questions, leave a comment at the end of this post and I will happily answer any questions that you may have in great detail (while explaining to you why you are an imbecile).

2. Stocks are too risky

Before I go on explaining the absurdity of that previous statement, let me start this section off by citing a statistic initially stated by the great Jeremy Siegel:

“One dollar invested and reinvested in stocks since 1802 would have accumulated to over $12.7 million by the end of 2006.”

Yes, you read that correctly. This is despite two hundred plus years of stock market declines, famine, wars, bigger wars, crisis, pandemics, epidemics, depressions, more epidemics, hippies, terrorism, political turmoil, global warming and even swine flu.

Of course, you people are going to say that two hundred years is a rather long holding period or that times have changed or whatever else but the truth of the matter is that the investor is what makes an investment risky, not the investment itself.

Risk comes from not knowing what you are doing. If you know what you are doing and if you research your investments diligently enough, your margin of risk is reduced faster than King Kong plummeting off of the Empire State building.

3. You have to be a professional to make money in the markets

Nothing is further from the truth. If you can literally walk into a store and say “Wow, this looks like a great business!” then you can make money in the stock market. That’s not even an over-exaggeration of any kind.

In fact, I find that the “professionals” make less money in the markets than your typical outside-the-box thinking investor (which I will teach you to become). All you really need in order to safely invest in the stock market is a strong will and a smidge of clever thinking. That’s it.

Closing Thoughts

I find that those are the top three reasons people avoid the stock market like the plague. If you feel that you are unique in your scenario, do not hesitate to leave a comment and I will try to help you out as best I can – and if I can’t… prepare to be destroyed.

Now get out there and make some big fat moneybags!

—————-
This is a Guest Post from Mr. Moneybags – the richest being in the universe ever to have existed and ever to exist. He and his blog are determined to prove to the world that the subject of money shouldn’t make you want to douse yourself in gasoline and run into a forest fire. (He also advises you to do your homework before investing!)


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