If I could move back in with my parents...
I would save a crap ton of money! And eat a lot healthier too. I might have to go to bed every night at 9, but it's not like I couldn't use the sleep and steady habit anyways.In all honesty, I'd give it a shot in a heartbeat. I don't know how long I could last (or that the Mrs. would even allow it (she wouldn't)), but it's definitely something I think about every now and then. Like, every 30 days when the mortgage is due ;) Or when my blogger friends talk about doing it themselves!
While I'm probably the only twenty something actually *wanting* to live back home again, you'd be hard pressed to deny the sweet financial benefits to such a situation. Free rent/mortgage, food, cable, internet, phone, homeowners insurance, condo fees, the list goes on and on. We'd of course have to revert to 6th grade with all the chores and cleaning up we hated to do back in the day, but it's not like we don't have to do them anyways, right? $hit, I'd even move in and pay them half of what our monthly housing costs add up to! We're talking big buckaroos here, friends.
According to our monthly expenses, we'd save roughly $3,000 a month! My freedom is enjoyable, but is it really worth $3,000? And on top of that, all the stuff that un-minimalizes us? I gotta admit, if I weren't married and/or living 2 hours away I'd at least give it a shot. That is, if they upgraded from AOL dial-up and got HDTV ;) Only halfway joking there...
Unfortunately, I'm afraid those glory days are long gone for us. We do live farther away and we do have a lot of stuff that ties us down - not to mention the future family we want to start with some baby-making! While I like it or not, it comes to a point when you really do have to get out there and make something of yourself. At least according to my dad ;) For all I know he wouldn't let me back even if I tried! haha...I'm sure I could convince him (or have mom do it), but I know parents like their freedom just as much as the next person.
Regardless, the financial aspect is extremely intriguing. I may not be able to take advantage of it myself, but if you're in the lucky stage in life I say go for it. There's no shame in saving up and getting your money in order before getting out there on your own - esp. if you've got some debt piled up already. You might not find it as exciting as I do, but if you can stick it out for a bit you'll have a lot less stress and a lot more fun to look forward to.
Labels: bargains, home ownership, in the real world, saving
posted by J. Money at
7:21 AM
34 Comments:
Before the mortgage, I would have gone for it, if it was an option! Now, I enjoy my freedom too much, having been out of the house for 12 years. For us, it's worth the $3k a month in expenses.
I would totally do it if my mom was a little more laid back. She tends to be nutty and drives my husband and I insane.
My friend lived with her parents for 6 years after college. Then she got married and her husband moved in with her at her parents' house and lived there another 2 years. They just bought a beautiful house that cost almost $1 mil (in my part of the country that is how much a family home typically costs) and managed to put 50% down. That to me is very smart!
A lot of children who do move back in with their parents often do not consider the impact it has on them. I have known parents who have had to delay retirement and stay in an unhappy jobs because they are supporting grown children. Most parents are too nice to say anything to their children, but many should take a long hard look at how moving back in affects our parents.
J,
I think it has to do with the child/twenty somethinger...in some cases it is simply a crutch to live at home. When you need X Dollars to live, somehow, you figure it out.
All that being said, I'd move back home, but my Wife would 1000% kill my parents, and probably me in 'friendly fire'
I'm 25 and still living with my parents, and have $XX,XXX in the bank in savings.
HOWEVER, it does really eat up at you. I've hardly had a significant relationship in 2-3 years as the old "Your place or mine?" question is really difficult to approach (obvious reasons), and the freedom thing is very limiting, little things like eating at set meal times which aren't set by you can effect you.
Don't get me wrong, I love my parents loads, but - come March, I'm moving out, and if I never move back in, all the better for it :)
I also agree with what Hank has to say. Both my parents are bit of workaholics, so much so that even if I wasn't there, they'd still be doing the hours a week that they are doing now. However, it would hurt me to know that they are being kept in jobs because I'm a burden on them.
Lol, every once in a while I think about that too. But at the end of the day, I'm very glad to have my own small place with Micah. If I were single, I might work out some kind of rent arrangement with them if I could find work in their area, because they could use some help around the house.
Wow, it's crazy that you bring this up, because that's exactly the situation I'm working on right now! I gotta save up for a wedding and get my financial life on solid ground, so I'm in discussions to move back in with the folks after 4 years of living on my own. It's depressing in a lot of ways, but it's only for a limited time, and yes, the financial benefits are certainly there!
I'd save $0. LOL
In fact, I may end up paying more.. rent is $600 at my parents, vs. $300 with BF :P
Which also includes utilities, but $300 + 50 in utilities, does not $600 make.
Seriously? Seriously?? I'm surprised that so many people think it is ok to live with their parents in their 20's and beyond. What about having responsibility for yourself? Why should your parents have to pay to support you - you're an adult - and you're earning a paycheck! I think it's actually a bit reprehensible to expect someone else, even if they are family, to support you so that you can bankroll extra money. If you are unemployed, or a student, and are having a difficult time supporting yourself, maybe... still, have a little respect for yourself and learn to be independent!
Anonymous:
When I think of most people I know in their 20s that live at home, I agree with you. They are using their parents, who for whatever reason condone their leeching. But, if it's a fair agreement (you should pay some for room and board, do housework, etc), and it's explicitly determined that it is not a permanent setup, I don't see a problem with it.
In reality though, most people that I see in these situations use it as a means to blow even more of their income on stupid crap, and aren't making any financial progress whatsoever.
That is my life, I live with my parents.
I'm not planning on living that much longer with them, but for now, it really is impossible for me to live on my own. Ok, ok, not impossible, but I definitely have a good deal living at home.
That said, to move BACK in with my parents after I've moved out just sounds like its not going to happen. Right now, I'm used to living at home, so although I see my friends living on their own, I don't really feel too bad about staying at my parents' house. But if I've moved out, established my life, and then had to move back in? I don't know if I could do it (slash if my parents would allow it). Leaving my house is a one way street!
I'm a foreign national and I was fortunate enough to live with relatives when I got my first gig out of grad school. I lived with them just outside of NYC for 4 years (commute to work was approx 1.5 hrs on an average day) so I could pay off credit card debt, student loans, auto loan and other personal debt. It was by far one of the best decisions of my life.
I just recently moved into an apartment with a roommate in NYC and am absolutely loving my life - which I actually have now. It is true though that I may have wasted 4 years of my life but... you gotta give some to get some. If I had been tempted to live in the city immediately, I would have dug myself a deeper hole than I was in at the time.
I think that the feeling of not having any debt to pay off allows me 1) to live better now, 2) manage my money well and far outweighs the the 4 years I sacrificed.
I saved a lot of money when I lived at home for a year. I wouldn't be able to have moved out on my own if I didn't. I actually ate less healthy at home just because since I didn't have to pay for groceries there was more food and snacks around, now I am more picky cause I want to be healthy and not spend much.
I moved back in with my parents two years ago, after being out on my own for a couple years. I do pay rent, and help them out with my handicapped younger brother, and the $200 I pay in rent per month allows me to sock away well over 55% of my after-tax income, as well as 13% of my pre-tax income. I now have over $70,000 saved/invested due to this. It does take a fair degree of sacrifice to move back in with your parents in your mid-twenties, but having a sound financial reason to do so helps.
I intend to move back out this coming Spring, but until then, I will make hay while the sun shines, so to speak =)
This is Anonymous again (see comment above) - what about the sacrifice that your parents/relatives have to make having you live with them??? Nobody seems to consider this. It's not a one-way street. Also, I am skeptical about how much adult children really help around the house with chores... if they are genuinely in there showing their appreciation for the free housing by doing A LOT of maintenance around the house, then fine, but my experience is that most people say they will help with chores, but just end up freeloading and are conveniently "too busy" to help... and just as a note, I am not a parent with a freeloading kid, but I've had friends and relatives stay with me for extended periods of time, and I can only imagine that parents probably have to put up with the same stuff that I have had to put up with. Okay, rant over. But seriously, if you're going to move back in with your parents, respect the sacrifice they are making by having you there, and do a lot of work around the house to show your appreciation.
i must admit i'm a bit jealous of those who actually could do this.
i have a fierce independent streak (out of necessity) but i admit it would be comforting to know i had family to fall back on financially if i was truly in a bind.
Yeah, it goes without saying that our parents would have to be cool with it for sure. If there was even an ounce of push back I wouldn't consider it at all (not that I really am anyways, but if I truly were). I think in general though parents tend to want to help out as much as they can - which usually has to do with saving money & cutting debt.
If there are any parents out there who feel strongly one way or the other though, we'd love to hear from ya :) Would be interesting to see things from another angle.
My mom and dad recently delightedly agreed to let me stay with them when I get back from NZ while I save up for a house downpayment, if ever I had the hankering. I'd of course pay my share of the utilities and household bills, but their mortgage will be paid off by that time ($0 rent!), and I'd get all the comforts of my old home and family.
Honestly, I think it will be way more work than just sharing a rental; they depend on me to entertain them with funny stories and drag them out in the real world when I'm home. :) It also could be hard to just go out for a drink, as my mom is staunchly Baptist and would also expect me to go to my old church every Sunday. :/ Now that...could be a problem. But I would do it for a year in order to save up a sweet house downpayment fund!
Mr. Boomer and I have raised 5 kids between us and the last one who is 23 still lives with us. I can't wait until he's done with paramedic school so we can finally have the house to ourselves.
it depends on the culture. some cultures don't mind having the 'kids' back into the house. but i think you have to take a look at the combination of culture and situation.
for example..i moved home b/c i knew i had to save money for the future. because of this, i was able to pay off in full the upcoming wedding, pay off in full the house and still have savings left. my friends who didn't..however are still renting and paying off stuff. to each their own...but i rather give up some freedom for the financial freedom i have achieved now b/c of it.
but i have to do it does make it somewhat socially awkward when people ask where live...haha. but follow that up with 'saving for a downpayment' and people understand.
now if you moved home to just be jobless and mooch...that's different.
After living on my own for 7 years and acquiring A LOT of student loan debt I was forced to move back home. I simply can not afford to pay rent and a student loan payment on what I currently make.
That being said, it is not a bad situation for me or my mom. She does not have to live alone and I get to save money. I don't have chores but I do maintain my half of the house. I don't pay rent (the house is paid off), but I do pay the electric bill and the cable/phone/internet combo. We split the grocery bill and rotate cooking.
It's not for everyone, but it works for us.
I moved back home in January after being laid off for a few months. It's far from the ideal situation but jobs are scarce in my field and living with them during unemployment helps me to work full time on finding a new job without having to worry about paying the rent (which I couldn't have even afforded if I found a low-paying job in retail since I have to pay for school loans and health insurance on top of it). I have been able to freelance and work on networking etc because of this.
I pay them a few hundred dollars a month to cover food & heat/electricity, help clean, help with yard work and shoveling, painting etc so I don't feel like I'm freeloading (plus their house is paid off and has been for a while and they have plenty of extra space so it's not a financial burden). That said, I can't wait to move back out. I really miss having my own place and my freedom.
I'm glad and fortunate to have the support from them, I just wish I didn't need it.
Move back in? Not a chance. The only acceptable reason to still be living with mom and pop are if you're fresh out of school and looking for a job or if you recently lost a job and you HAVE to move back in.
The stories of married couples living with someone parents are crazy. Get your own place and leave the poor parents alone, even if you pay them some sort of rent. They've had enough of you already, alright? Sunday dinner is probably enough.
I think it depends on the person. I live with family and it's commonplace in my culture for adults to live with family members. I grew up with limited means, and after college graduated with student loans and a few dollars to my name. I contribute heavily to household expenses/rent/groceries/etc, yet it's still cheaper than getting an apartment and am still able to save a lot of money. It's been good so far, by early next year I will have saved a years worth of salary. I attribute most of my financial success thus far to sucking it up and living with the fam.
Don't do it! If you really need to save money there are better ways. Low Cost Power, for example. They're a client of mine and using them for your home energy
you could save as much as $250 a year! Now isn't that a better option than moving back in with your parents?
Or you could teach at a boarding school. My husband and I live rent free and have the option of taking every meal in the dining hall. It's a perk of our employment and we certainly earn less than we would in a public school, but it is SO worth it.
What?! Really? Man that is awesome. You guys have your own room or place there? Is it weird? Is it fun? Can I ask you 10 more questions? haha...
Personal finance columns always give this piece of advice to young people just starting out. I wish I had the kind of parents that I could have lived with after school to save money. It's not always feasible for people to move back in with their parents.
My mom has several severe mental illnesses, including hoarding and bipolar disorder, that made it impossible for me to move back. When you live with a hoarder, even having company in your living room is impossible (sorry, no room on the couch--that is where she keeps her newspapers from 1996-2001). I never had friends over from elementary school until I graduated high school.
She has unpredictable mood swings that make even a phone conversation impossible. She also has no sense of personal space or boundaries, bordering on abuse (when I was going through puberty she once asked to touch my breasts, and asks me about details of my sexual relationships with past boyfriends and my husband).
I just wish pf blogs would acknowledge family dysfunction as an obstacle to saving money. It's not always that easy to just "suck it up" and move home.
I had problems with a landlord and needed to move out. Rather than spend for another apt I moved back with the 'rents for a while. It was real tough but it enabled me to eliminate my credit card debt and build up my savings. It was one of the best financial decisions I've made.
@Anonymous (the last one) - "I just wish pf blogs would acknowledge family dysfunction as an obstacle to saving money" - That's something worth exploring for sure. Have you ever thought about starting a blog or something to share your thoughts on it?
I don't have much experience in this dept. myself (thus, I can't blog about it), but I'd be interested in hearing more on it - and I'm sure others would too. Would you be up for guest posting here? It would be a great way to share your feelings/advice on it :) Shoot me an email if you're interested: j (at) budgetsaresexy (dot) com.
If living with Mom and Dad were an option, then yes I would! I did let me ex's cousin live with me for a year and encouraged him to save. I'm all about helping people get and stay debt free!
I know I could if I absolutely had to and having that as insurance in case of something bad feels good but I'd feel more independent on my own. I actually had to stay a summer with her while I was waiting to move to another place and it wasn't too bad. If it doesn't lead to violence, heck why not!
Jerry
haha...well said, sir.
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