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The 10 Awesomest Safes I’ve Ever Seen.

by J. Money on Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I was listening to WTOP yesterday (like a nerd, yes) when I caught the tail end of a news blip on clever money safes. I didn’t hear much of it, but what I DID catch was absolutely fantastic. So like any good financial blogger I headed to the ‘net to research more ;)

You thought those fake books safes or beer cans were cool? They’ve got nothin’ on these guys… I present to you ladies and gentlemen, the Top 10 Awesomest Safes I’ve Ever Seen! (feel free to bookmark for my birthday):

1. The Iceberg Lettuce Safe

head of iceberg lettuce safeVia Bim Bam Banana: $99

“Thieves will never dream of looking in this head of Iceberg Lettuce for valuables! Place this realistic head of Iceberg Lettuce in your refrigerator in the vegetable compartment with your most valuable small items inside for safe-keeping. The bottom snaps off to reveal a secret hiding place.”

2. Fake Wall Outlet Safe

fake wall outlet safeVia Amazon: $5.99-$12.99

“A truly ingenious idea! A hidden diversion safe that’s made out of a regular plug outlet. This wall socket safe looks just like the rest of the plugs that are already installed in your home. Except this one can hide money, jewelry, or other small valuables that you don’t want a thief to find. Very easy installation and anyone can do it. The wall socket safe comes with a template, saw, and a key.”

3. The Bread Safe

bread safeVia Bim Bam Banana: $79

“Place this realistic round bread on your table or in your bread box with your most valuable small items inside for safe-keeping… BREAD SAFE is made to look like the actual product, but it’s a container safe. Without so much as a seam. The bottom snaps off to reveal a secret hiding place.”

4. Candle Safe

candle safeVia Amazon: $34.99

“Our Candle safes work on a very simple concept, hide your possessions where nobody would think to look. Each Diversion safe is made of an authentic candle so the safe appears to be just that. The candle safes are made of 100% candle wax. Nobody would ever suspect the candle sitting on your table is actually holding your most prized possessions.”

5. Surge Protector Safe

surge protector safeVia Amazon: $19.75

“This unique “safe” allows you to hide your valuables discreetly inside what looks just like a surge protector… Although it is not a working surge protector, it does have an on/off switch which glows red just like a real one (requires two AA batteries that are included). Also, you can plug up to six cords into the surge protector and then plug it into a wall outlet (no danger – no electrical current will enter the unit) in order to add to the realism.”

6. Closet Light Safe

closet light safeVia Amazon: $14.99

“With this product you can hide your valuables in what looks like an ordinary working closet light – the last place a thief would think to look. This safe has a unique twist lock that locks the top and bottom of the safe together. The closet light is 8 inches in diameter and 3 inches thick…The closet light is a real light and requires three AA batteries that are not included.”

7. The Dirty Underwear “Brief Safe”

dirty underwear brief safeVia Amazon: $12.99

“The “Brief Safe” is an innovative diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you’re traveling… Leave the “Brief Safe” in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room – even the most hardened burgler or most curious snoop will “skid” to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn’t you?)”

8. Hidden Pillow Safe

hidden pillow safeVia Amazon: $29.35

“This unique safe allows you to hide your valuables discreetly inside a couch pillow – one of the last places a thief would think to look… With the Hidden Safe Pillow you get a huge 5 inch x 4 inch diameter area for hiding jewelry cash passports and more. The 16 inch x 6.5 inch pillow has an attractive Damask cover that matches any decor.”

9. Wall Clock Hidden Safe

wall clock hidden safeVia Amazon: $15.99

“Sleek silver clock matches any décor and although this may look like an ordinary clock it has a secret hidden compartment where you can hide your valuables. With a simple hinged design it is the perfect hiding place for jewelry, cash & more.”

10. Aqua Net Safe!!!

auqa net safeVia Amazon: $19.99

Okay, so you’ve probably seen this one before but I couldn’t including it – I use this EXACT hair spray! How do you think I get my ‘hawk up?

What do you think? Makes you want to go out and buy one, doesn’t it? :) If I missed any let me know…I feel like I just stumbled on to some of the best kept secrets around.

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{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mrs. Money April 27, 2010 at 7:58 am

Love this! These are ingenious.

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2 Little House April 27, 2010 at 9:44 am

These are great ideas! I especially love the bread safe (I thought you were pulling our legs with this one ;) )

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3 J. Money April 27, 2010 at 10:53 am

Seriously, if that damn lettuce one didn’t cost $100 I’d pick one up right now! :) I may have to search around and see if I can’t find it somewhere cheaper…that dirty underwear one is just crazy too! haha…I wonder how many of those sell?

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4 Keith Morris April 27, 2010 at 11:31 am

You could probably make a few of these without much trouble. :)

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5 Young Mogul April 27, 2010 at 12:19 pm

All I can say is just….WOW! I would, personally, pick either the wall outlet, clock, or closet light because you could have so many of these in your house that even if a theif knew of these types of safes, it would take forever for him/her to check each one of these. Time is of the essence with burgulars, they have to get in and get out. They wouldn’t have time to check every electrical socket or clock or closet light.

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6 Ciawy April 27, 2010 at 1:02 pm

I like the lettuce too. Who would’ve have thought of a lettuce head that wouldn’t go bad easily and you could keep money and jewelries in it.

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7 Mike April 27, 2010 at 1:27 pm

These are really cool safes. I would not have thought of the head of lettuce or the surge protector. Hopefully, thieves won’t think of them either!

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8 Jersey Mom April 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm

These are awesome! Thanks for the info ~ I certainly didn’t know about this. =)

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9 J. Money April 27, 2010 at 1:51 pm

I think the surge protector may be my all-time fave here. Only thing is I’d forget my valuables were in it too! haha…that, and I’d get mad when it doesn’t work all the time ;)

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10 Leslie April 27, 2010 at 4:50 pm

My brother has the candle one – and it even comes with extra bottom stickers in case you wear it out taking your stuff out too often.

He also has one that’s a real book with the pages glued together and cut-out.

I love these – especially the lettuce one!

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11 Early Retirement Extreme April 27, 2010 at 7:46 pm

Don’t forget to store them inside a fireproof safe in case the house burns down. A lettuce head in there would be pretty inconspicuous. Sure I keep lettuce in my gun safe. Don’t you?

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12 MyFinancialObjectives April 27, 2010 at 9:31 pm

Hah this is such an awesome post! What great ideas, I bet that a lot of those would really work better than the traditional ones!

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13 Sam April 27, 2010 at 10:28 pm

Any suggestions for safes to use when traveling that can be packed in carry-on bags?

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14 Torsten April 28, 2010 at 2:58 am

Awesome safes! Thanks for that list.

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15 Leah April 28, 2010 at 1:33 pm

I hope no burglars are reading this!

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16 tz April 28, 2010 at 1:58 pm

The Aquanet can might be good, but the Cruex version has a better yuk factor.

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17 Tim April 28, 2010 at 1:59 pm

Would suspicions arise if I kept the dirty underwear safe in the vegetable drawer in the fridge?

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18 Jean F April 28, 2010 at 2:02 pm

The last time my apartment was robbed the thief left the computers, etc. and stole a large cheese, pink bedspread and three cheap plastic clocks. So I can see a thief walking off with a loaf of bread, head of lettice and candles….

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19 S April 28, 2010 at 2:40 pm

Call em safes all you want….. people store their valuables in ACTUAL safes with effective locks/keycodes. THESE are stash containers. ;)

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20 MJ April 28, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Not so secret anymore….

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21 Peter April 28, 2010 at 3:33 pm

I know someone who doesn’t just have a safe, but they actually built a secret room in their house.. they can have a safe in there, and no one will ever even know the room is there! Pretty awesome!

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22 Tim April 28, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Thanks! Next time I rob someone, I’m starting in the kitchen ;-)

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23 J. Money April 28, 2010 at 9:27 pm

Hah! A lot of crooks do actually….and then get caught ;) So in that case the lettuce safe would not be such a good idea!

@ Peter – if this “someone” is you I want the VIP preview, baby!!! actually that reminds me – one of my dreams is to convert an old-school bank into a house :) now THAT would be a bad a$$ safe.

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24 Greg April 28, 2010 at 9:44 pm

Actually the Aquanet in white can with pink art is the best
one for your hawk.

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25 Elaine April 29, 2010 at 1:15 am

When my family moved in 1983, when I was 9, there was an outlet wall safe in my new room. It was empty, but it was a cool thing for a kid and I hid things in there regularly. I pulled it out of the wall entirely a few years later and inside the wall behind it I found a bunch of late ’70s Playboy centerfolds the room’s previous owner had hidden there.

My parents sold that house in 1998 and I always meant to go back and put something awesome back in there for the next kid to find, but I never got the chance.

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26 J. Money April 29, 2010 at 9:49 am

@Greg – That is true actually. Do you talk from experience?
@Elaine – Does that mean you kept those playboys! ;)

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27 Tony May 7, 2010 at 3:59 pm

This is amazing. The lettuce one is perfect.

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28 Haha. Nice one. May 15, 2010 at 3:16 am

Now the thieves know, too.

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29 Kevin July 29, 2010 at 1:29 pm

The Aqua Net safe reminds me of Jurassic Park, where Newman was going to hide the the dino embryos.

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30 J. Money July 29, 2010 at 9:31 pm

Hah! It reminds me of the bottle of Aqua Net I have under my sink ;)

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31 Slings December 20, 2010 at 10:44 am

The wal outlet one is awesome. A friend of mine had installed it… a few weeks later his house got roobed but they never noticed the outlet. I’d think there’s a chance they’d notice the candle one or the clock one ….they made a real mess of his place and knocked everything over. They’d hear his valuables clanging around in there.

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32 J. Money December 21, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Wow, really? I haven’t heard of anyone actually using any of these yet. (esp the lettuce one – haha…) Sucks your friend got robbed, but glad *some* stuff was saved!

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33 rachel October 5, 2011 at 8:59 pm

The iceberg lettuce is priceless!!

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34 J. Money October 6, 2011 at 6:22 pm

You’d like to buy me one??? Awesome! Thanks!! ;)

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35 Lauryn Doll December 2, 2011 at 5:51 pm

I Googled the Dirty Underwear one! Eeeeeeeeks.

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36 J. Money December 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

haha… at least it’s fake!

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37 Sandra Fuller November 6, 2012 at 10:32 am

I have the Arizona Tea can.Wanted the Coke or Pepsi but more people drink them not everybody likes Arizona tea.Dad always said never have all youre money in one spot.Ive hidden money everywhere.Tampon tubes and in bottom of a diaper genie what thief s going to look under a bag of days old baby diapers!Plus ive hidden money iin zip lock baggies in between two stacked cat litter pans top one was used by my cats.Hid money in 50 lb sack of dogfood.You have to think outside of the box when it comes to thieves.

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38 J. Money November 7, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Hah! Good work :) Just don’t forget where you put it all now! I’ve heard people do that allll the time, especially if you never tell anyone else and then they’re all lost down the road. Maybe make a list and hide it in a safe or something?

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39 c October 3, 2013 at 10:26 pm

Ummm… isn’t this what a bank is for?

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40 J. Money October 3, 2013 at 11:18 pm

well that’s too easy ;)

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41 Smitha826 March 26, 2014 at 10:49 am

Very nice! deedeacedb

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42 J. Money March 27, 2014 at 10:49 am

glad you like :)

just came across this one the other day – my new favorite: chapstick hider!

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