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3 Things I Cannot Help You With :)

by J. Money on Wednesday, October 10, 2012

champagne bottles on ice

I’ve been getting a lot of strange requests in my inbox lately, so I thought I’d put this all out there for anyone else confusing me for someone other than J. Money Blogger Extraordinaire ;) I’m plum afraid I can’t hook you up with anything outside of personal finance and/or entrepreneurship – although I wish I could! Some of the stuff y’all are asking me about could make me rich, bitch!

Here are the 3 latest things I’ve been asked to sell to/for you:

1) Bottles of Champagne

I unfortunately already deleted this email before thinking up this blog post, but it pretty much went something like this:

“Hey Jay, I finally want to put in that order for the 36 bottles of 2004 Vintage Louis Roederer Cristal Champagne. Where do I send the money?”

Ummm…. to my Paypal acount? ;) I guess this guy has a lot of Jay’s in his email list! And wealthy people read this blog too! I turned to Google after it piqued my interest as I hadn’t heard of Roederer before, and it turns out that stuff can go for $189 a bottle! For just ONE! So this guy MUST make bank to be able to afford 36 of them – it would go for over $6,800 without even including tax or shipping yet, wowzers! Can I go to that party, please??

2) Human Eggs

This email I DID save, and it went like this:

SUBJECT: “sell my eggs”
MESSAGE: “I would love to give m beautiful eggs to someone that needs them i don’t i have enough children”

Grammar aside, this was quite the email to grab my attention :) I REALLY hoped she’d hit me back after I responded for more info so I could learn more and possibly do a Side Hustle with her in the future (And I loved that she said “beautiful eggs” – it’s true! They are beautiful!), but sadly she has yet to respond back to my inquiry… And I don’t think I’m doing myself any favors by posting about this either, haha… But I DO mean well! I’m just not the right person for the job ;)

3) Any and All Drugs

Okay, well this one I haven’t actually got EMAILED about ever, but I DO get asked alllll the freakin’ time in person about it. Probably because I *look* like a druggie! Haha… (If you can believe it, though, I’ve never once smoked or shot up any types of drugs whatsoever – not even marijuana. My drugs of choice are alcohol and the occasional cigar, as much as I’d love to try some others out just to SEE what the fuss is about! (I can’t though because I have a major addictive personality and I know I’ll get hooked. Plus, I’m way too old to be experimenting now ;))

Every time I walk through the streets of any major city – esp NY – I constantly get hit up to either buy or sell someone drugs. Once even when walking with my MOTHER, of all people, and the crackhead kept saying over and over again “not to lie” to him because he KNOWS I’m a dealer! What the what? After about the 3rd time my mom was forced to question me about it too, ugh… luckily that’s been the only time she’s had a shadow of a doubt ;) But no – I don’t deal or by drugs, sorry future askers!

That’s all I wanted to share with you today :) Did you think you’d be reading about human eggs and champagne this morning? Haha… Anyone else get asked for strange stuff from time to time? Drop us a note and let’s see who has the best story! It’s pretty interesting what money can buy…

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(Photo by Poweredrodrigo, grayed out by J$)


{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Adam Hathaway October 10, 2012 at 6:25 am

HAHA! Your poor mom. Looking back that is a pretty funny story for her to tell though.

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2 Lance @ Money Life and More October 10, 2012 at 7:12 am

Someone tried to sell me cocaine in NYC but no one ever thought I was a dealer. I haven’t gotten any goofy emails yet but I imagine it will come with time. Always funny to read about!

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3 Joe @ Retire By 40 October 10, 2012 at 8:40 am

Hahaha, that’s crazy. I don’t think you look like a drug dealer at all. Those drugies must have been high.

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4 Savvy Scot October 10, 2012 at 8:52 am

Hahaha! This post has made my day! You must get stopped all the time at airport security?!

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5 Pauline October 10, 2012 at 8:59 am

haha, can’t wait for the side hustle: I sell my eggs post! The champagne thing can be a spam, I have heard about people depositing money into your account, you actually see the money, then they say “sorry I overpaid/made a mistake, can you refund”, which you do and the deposit disappears because it was fake from the beginning. When someone wires funds to you, your bank actually deposits the money but the clearing can take weeks…

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6 Jackie October 10, 2012 at 9:03 am

Haha, that’s awesome. I thought you were going to say that your mom had to argue with the druggies on your behalf though :)

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7 20's Finances October 10, 2012 at 9:12 am

I hope you didn’t take offense when I asked you for some “goods” at Fincon. ;) haha. jk. I’m not sure if those who email you have seen your pic, though? Or have they? Those are some crazy emails!

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8 David@SkepticFinance October 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

I get emails from people thinking I’m a dutch diamond dealer, it has been going on for a couple years now and I’ve given up trying to convince people that I’m not. I even have an office in Antwerp (I checked it out on Google street view) and an apartment in Paris so if you need a place to run your egg selling scheme let me know.

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9 LB @ Finanical Black Sheep October 10, 2012 at 10:49 am

I was given drugs more than once, and from a medical marijuana businesses. Yeah, do I LOOK like I am into drugs. Not like any of you know what I look like HA! Maybe at the time I did, because of the side-hussle I was doing.

Usually, I just get mistaken for being mad, when I am really just arguing and trying to state a side or something I like. People don’t understand if I a mad, I don’t say anything, because I don’t like my temper to run things.

My favorite is when I am mistaken for someone, but someone the person likes HA! I have been mistaken for both a person someone doesn’t like and a person someone does like. I must have a twin somewhere I don’t know about. ;)

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10 J. Money October 10, 2012 at 11:09 am

@Adam Hathaway – I try and not bring it up if possible, haha…
@Lance @ Money Life and More – Hah! How much did it cost you? ;)
@Joe @ Retire By 40 – (bah dum ching!)
@Savvy Scot – You know what’s funny about that? I actually NEVER get stopped at the airport! I think it’s too obvious if they “randomly” search me, so they end up NEVER searching me :) It’s actually kinda awesome. And I make a point to always spike up my hair every single time too, just because of that.
@Pauline – Ahhh.. yeah, I guess it could have been that too. I never responded back though so I guess we’ll never know! :)
@Jackie – HAH! Now THAT would have been more interesting :)
@20′s Finances – I can’t complain, you paid me top dollar! :) (And nah – I don’t think they’ve seen my pic? Though the druggie ones have always in in person anyways so ofcourse they have…)
@David@SkepticFinance – Haha… that is awesome. You might as well just hook up a deal w/ the REAL dutch diamond guy and start getting paid for all your referrals ;)
@LB @ Finanical Black Sheep – Haha, I get quite too when I’m mad and people know right away cuz I’m never that quite! ;) And now you have me guessing about your old side hustle? Hmmm…. stripper? ;)

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11 Slackerjo October 10, 2012 at 1:31 pm

True story. I used to work at a outsourced call centre which means agents have no assigned seating. You sit at a different station every day. One day I came in for my evening shift and found a piece of paper at my desk with a budget. It looked something like this:

rent 250
food 150
smokes 40
weed 75
bus tickets 40

You can’t really fault the guy as he did make a budget.

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12 Evan October 10, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I only get boring emails about taxes!

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13 Jacob @ iheartbudgets October 10, 2012 at 5:10 pm

That would be an interesting topic to post about, a “druggie’s” budget. Similar to the above, but with some more detail, including retirement plans (you know, retire and move to Columbia, that kinda thing). LoL!

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14 Lance @ Money Life and More October 10, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I didn’t realize what he said until after he was long gone and by that point I didn’t remember how much he was charging… probably more than where you live :-P

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15 LB @ Finanical Black Sheep October 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm

J.,

You had me spit on my computer from busting out laughing. No, I wasn’t a stripper, I only baked crackers. Seriously, crackers. It was that boring! Maybe that is why I was given drugs, because everyone was always bored or something.

I also get people telling me about the times they did drugs, even if it was last week. Not sure if I look like someone easy to talk to, or I just look interested in drugs. hmm, makes me wonder…

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16 debtgirl October 11, 2012 at 12:01 am

OMG, it sounds like a inbox full of spamage!

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17 Cherleen @ My Personal Finance Journey October 11, 2012 at 2:22 am

Your drug story reminded me of a story of an elderly couple I read in Facebook. the couple bought a shrub from a sale and grew it. Unknowingly, the plant they have been taking care of is a cannabis! They only learned about it when the police authorities told them.

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