As you probably know by now, Black Friday is right around the corner. But as exciting as that sounds to the retail industry – and possibly you? – there’s about a million OTHER things some of us would rather do than wake up at 3 a.m. and stand in line to get the newest Tickle Me Elmo (wait, what’s that? They’re not popular anymore? Okay then, beanie babies… No?? Pogs?).
So for those looking to spend their time differently this Friday morning, here’s a list of 7 BETTER things you can do instead… I’ll be starting my day out with sexy #3:
- Jump into a swamp full of alligators. Naked.
- Suck down a tub of butter, followed by a tub of lard. (Mmm!)
- Listen to every single track of the Back Street Boys. And then hit repeat.
- Watch 150 more hours on the Petraeus scandal!
- Light your toes on fire and hop into a puddle of lighter fluid.
- Make love to a one-eyed porcupine. (They’re much friendlier than the two-eyed variety)
- And if all else fails, take your entire life savings and invest it in Facebook stock.
The best part? You don’t need any coupons! Haha… okay okay, Black Friday isn’t *that* bad, but still. It’s def. not as exciting as other things you can be doing unless you get 1,000% off of everything or go with your hot girlfriend/boyfriend and/or you’re still drunk from the parties the night before ;) All things which unfortunately are off the table for me now that Baby Money is involved, wha wha wha… But there’s always that porcupine!
And speaking of porcupines, check out last year’s post on why Black Friday is just like having sex ;) Another fun thing you can do instead of shopping!
Y’all be safe out there…
Photo Credit: timparkinson