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What Your Sex Life and Your Financial Life Have to Do With Each Other – and How to Make Both Mind-Blowing

by J. Money on Thursday, September 5, 2013

sexy woman on bed

(Guest post by the beautiful, and wildly intelligent, Kate Northrup)

If you’ve studied any Eastern philosophy or healing, you’re probably familiar with the chakra system. If you aren’t, let me fill you in.

The body has 7 energy centers, or chakras, each of which is associated with a particular area of the body. Each is also associated with a particular area of your life. The idea is this: emotional stress affects our physical bodies (duh!). The emotional stress will often show up in the chakra of the body associated with the area of our life that’s stressing us out.

The second chakra is the area where our reproductive organs live and it also includes the lower back. The second chakra is connected to our relationship with money, sex, and power. Given this association, it’s no surprise that so many people in our financially stressed out society suffer from lower back pain.

And given the fact that money and sex are connected by the second chakra of the body, it was also no surprise when I read about a recent study published at the University of Cambridge in England. It reported that people who have sex often earn significantly more money than those who don’t.

The study, of course, may show a correlation between more sex and more money, not a causation, but economists are paying attention, regardless.

So what does this mean for you? How do you make both your sex life and your financial life mind-blowing?

Well, many of the factors that make someone more likely to have more sex and more likely to have more money overlap. So, if you want to have more of both (and honestly, who doesn’t?) all you have to do is focus on these 3 areas:

1. Enhance your self-confidence/self-esteem

People who are more confident make more money and have more sex. It’s just a fact. So how do you become one of those people? Focus on the ways that you’re awesome instead of the ways that you suck. Our culture doesn’t really celebrate people celebrating themselves, but do it anyway. People who go against the cultural norm tend to flourish.

Every day, notice ways that you’ve added value to someone else’s life. Write down 3 ways that you’re awesome before bed. Building the muscle of noticing your greatness will build your self-confidence. Pretty soon you’ll become a love and money magnet!

2. Get in better emotional shape

People who are emotionally healthy tend to be nicer to be around and perform better at work. Hence, they earn more money. And guess what? They’re also more attractive.

How can you improve your emotional well-being? You can be more positive. I know you’ve heard it before. But you know why everyone talks about being more positive? Because it works! When you find yourself complaining, stop. When you find yourself worrying about something, find something in your immediate environment to appreciate. When you find yourself being negative, find a way to reframe the situation and find the lesson in it or the silver lining.

Being more positive will make every aspect of your life better, but it would be worth it just for the sex and money, don’t you think?

3. Get in better physical shape.

Richard Branson, one of the world’s richest men, said that the number one thing that he can attribute his success to is exercising regularly. That’s right. Exercise gives you more energy, helps you stay focused, gives you mental clarity, and also releases endorphins, which make it easier be positive. Not to mention the fact that it makes you way sexier!

Eating vegetables, whole grains, and a low-glycemic diet also contribute to feeling better. And people who feel better make more money and have more sex.

So next time you get a case of the “woe is me’s” thinking about either your bank account or the state of your sex life, remember your self-esteem, your emotional health, and your physical shape. Work on one, or better yet, all three of these and get ready for some heftier deposits and more boot knocking!

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Kate Northrup is the author of the new book Money: A Love Story. Check out her free quiz on what your relationship with money says about you and the free goodies you’ll get when you buy her book on her site, KateNorthrup.com.

[Photo by Lies Thru a Lens]


{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

1 moneystepper.com September 5, 2013 at 5:45 am

I find that keeping in physical shape is incredibly important and has a significant knock on effect on the other two factors.

Laura Vanderkam suggests in her book “What the most successful people do before breakfast” that the majority of high earning individuals tend to exercise early in the day and almost daily.

Combined with a healthy diet, it really does make everything else easier!

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2 J. Money September 5, 2013 at 4:21 pm

And I’d imagine you could consider sex as “exercise” in the morning too, eh? ;)

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3 Kate Northrup September 5, 2013 at 4:30 pm

Love that suggestion and the title of her book!

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4 Brian September 5, 2013 at 8:56 am

One of the key traits of successful people is being in good shape both mentally and physically. With that in place you have the ability to preform better, work harder and earn more.

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5 The Recovering Coupon Queen September 5, 2013 at 9:06 am

Well, with that title, who wouldn’t jump to read the article?! :)

Great points, all of them. I suppose I thought about each (sex & money) individually, but I like how the two are connected in this article. My husband will appreciate the points made as well… trust me, he will be reading this later today and I expect to be getting a call to ensure that I have read it as well! LOL

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6 J. Money September 5, 2013 at 4:22 pm

Haha… you should tell him about the part we left out then: Having sex ON money! ;)

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7 Kate Northrup September 5, 2013 at 4:32 pm

I love that! Glad this is something you and your husband can appreciate together!

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8 Mark Ross September 5, 2013 at 9:12 am

This one’s a very interesting article with more interesting ideas in it. I didn’t know before that sex and finances are somewhat related to one another.

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9 Debt Blag September 5, 2013 at 9:22 am

Ha! I always knew money and sex were connected to each other :)

But it’s so true though. I thought so much about personal finance in August and ignored fitness more than I usually do, and came away feeling pretty gross. That’s why I worked fitness goals back into my September goals :)

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10 Kali @CommonSenseMillennial September 5, 2013 at 9:41 am

This is really interesting. I can definitely see where these two concepts – sex and money – are interrelated, I’ve just not thought about it that way before. The connections are definitely clear. I have to say, though, the three ways to improve those areas of your life listed here (bettering your self-esteem and confidence, improving your mental state, and exercising and eating properly) are going to improve ALL areas of your life! They’re all great things to practice if you’re interesting in making yourself happier and more secure in just about every way.

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11 Kate Northrup September 5, 2013 at 4:32 pm

Absolutely! These things will improve every area of your life! Great point.

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12 John S @ Frugal Rules September 5, 2013 at 9:43 am

That’s quite the title. :) Seriously though, I had read about the same study and it really makes sense when you think about it. I think both are so tied to your self-esteem and emotional health that it makes perfect sense.

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13 Romona @Monasez September 5, 2013 at 11:23 am

I think that physical fitness and the way you feel have a lot to do with your performance when it comes to work and persuing you your goals. So, I can definitely see the correlation between the two. I find that I get a whole lot more accomplished on days that I work out in the gym.

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14 Terry Pratt September 5, 2013 at 1:00 pm

Well, duh, ask any poor heterosexual man, we have known this for pretty much ever, since we live it daily. Men who are poor generally don’t get the girl, and women know this quite well – just ask any woman.

To the extent men are defined by their work and their finances, poor men have no rational basis for confidence and self-esteem, thus reinforcing their dearth of sex in a vicious downward spiral.

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15 Kate Northrup September 5, 2013 at 4:33 pm

Interesting point Terry. I guess the poor heterosexual man needs to read this post then :)

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16 Christine @ ThePursuitofGreen September 5, 2013 at 2:22 pm

Nice recipe for success:P A better outlook in life definitely helps people succeed and do better.

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17 a terrible husband... September 5, 2013 at 3:58 pm

I love and totally agree with this post. It’s amazing how connected physical and emotional health are with relational health! OK. Time for some push-ups.

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18 J. Money September 5, 2013 at 4:25 pm

Do 30 and then say “hello” to your wife ;)

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19 GetRichWithMe September 5, 2013 at 5:35 pm

exercise (and sex) raise the metabolic rate – the more you do – the more you “can” do – more work i mean – thats why people who exercise/enjoy sex on a regular basis get ahead

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20 Kevin @ Growing Family Benefits September 5, 2013 at 6:49 pm

You convinced me! Time to break out the candles and woo my wife.

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21 Georgi September 6, 2013 at 12:48 am

Budgets are sexy not scary. Gotcha loud and clear! As a dreamer, mapping out a future financial freedom plan for me in my business is much more exciting than 5 year projections. Sex, yes I’m worth it. Thank you for talking about the two things we’re bought up not to talk about.

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22 Dear Debt September 6, 2013 at 1:06 am

I’ve always thought that couples who were fighting over finances are probably having terrible sex, or none at all, so it makes sense the converse would be true. Less stress = better work = more money = better/more sex.

Both money and sex are forms of currency.

I’ve also wondered how people budget for their sex life? Is that under ‘personal’?

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23 J. Money September 8, 2013 at 7:57 pm

Haha… no, that’s under “AWESOME” :)

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