There’s a new blog I’ve started following, and each article on the site is half written by the wife of the team (Angela), and the other by the husband (Kirby). It’s pretty weird at first reading two people going back and forth on the same post, but once you get used to that it’s kinda interesting :)
The blog’s called, The Simple Money Blog – check it out some time.
Anyways, one half of the duo (Kirby) responded to one of my posts here at Budgets Are Sexy last week – the one on the financial bullying quiz – and in it he mentioned three “whos” when it came to combined money in the household:
- Who makes the money
- Who manages the money
- Who spends the money
He then added:
“Being open to suggestions and not just pushing your own agenda will take you far in your relationship – especially if you make the whole money management process collaborative, so you can lean on one another’s strengths.”
Which, of course, is 100% true. You want the person who’s good at managing the money to be the one doing that if possible (brownie points if they actually ENJOY it too – like we all do! ;)), and you want the one who’s better at doing other things to be mostly doing those. The whole “go with what you’re good at, and limit the stuff you’re not” kinda idea. My friend Nate talks a little about this too in one of his older posts – 12 ways to impress your boss – and I think it’s a good thing to keep in mind not only with money, but with life in general.
So today I thought we’d use these three questions as an exercise we can do together to see how we’re currently set up within our own relationships. And if you’re not in, how you’d LIKE it to be the day that changes ;) So you’ll be nice and *prepared sexily* on top of your normal sexy self! Haha…
I’ll go first, and then it’s your turn:
1. Who makes the money?
Right now, I do. 100% of it until the wife finishes her dissertation and gets her P.H.D. It’s not ideal stress/financial-wise, but we know it’s only temporary for now until she’s all done and jumps back into the work force… Something she’s been itching to do for quite a number of years now (fun fact: ever since this blog started she’s been in grad school!).
I can’t remember what it’s like to have dual incomes, but I’m mighty proud/blessed we’ve been able to go this long on mainly one. That’s something good to know shall the rug be pulled out from under us one day… And a major pro to anyone who can pull off living on only 50% of their income! The longer you can keep lifestyle creep away, the more freedom you get.
Overall grade: B-
2. Who manages the money?
Right now – and all other times – I do, of course :) But even if I weren’t a finance blogger I still would since the Mrs. honestly can’t stand it. She just wants to know that all is okay and leaves the rest of it to me. She even tries to wiggle out of our monthly’ish reviews, but I sneak them in when she can’t go anywhere! Like, when The Bachelor comes on or she goes for the ice cream, haha…
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that people are MUCH more likely to put up with stuff they don’t like when they’re in good moods and/or doing something that makes them happy. Even if they have to lose their high for a hot second to squeeze in something important!
Overall grade: A
3. Who spends the money?
We both do? Really the only things we spend money on these days are the stuff we’re forced to like mortgages, rent, utilities, daycare, food, insurance, etc. We may spend $20 here or there on who knows what, but overall we’ve been pretty good at limiting our “extra” expenses to the point where our separate “do whatever we want” funds don’t even matter that much anymore. The wife likes to joke that I should be glad I married her if only because she doesn’t shop much! Haha… Which is funny, because I’m usually telling HER that she needs to shop more and live a little!
Overall grading: A+
Alright, your turn. Think about who’s doing all these Whos now, and then grade yourself on how close it is to your ideal situation. If you want to go anonymous to speak your mind freely, please do! Or just keep it internally to yourself :)
The point’s really to just stop and think about this for a little bit before you’re off to do whatever it is you do over there… I know what it’s like to be on the other side of the blog reading – I gotta catch your attention as best I can, and then release you into the world wide abyss! Just hopefully with more money in your pockets than less…
PS: If you’d like to see the steps we’ve taken to streamline our financial/joint accounts, click here.
PPS: If you want to read more about this second “who” (the managing one) click here. Angela and Kirby wrote a much more in depth article on it than I ;)
[Awesome photo by mista stagga lee]