As I sit here throwing another chocolate whopper in my mouth, I can’t help but to kick myself for allowing them in my house in the first place. What rational person puts a box of chocolate 5 feet away from them when they’re trying to ward off sugar?? And why did my wife just buy not one, but TWO, boxes of Girl Scout cookies this week to also tempt me???
Oh that’s right, because she’s pregnant. Me? I don’t have an excuse… I’m just an idiot ;)
But while one whopper won’t necessarily kill me – or, twenty-five for that matter (someone please stop me!!!) – it’s the overall bad habits that eventually will. Whether in health, love, or in finance. As my man Kanye West once quipped:
“How do you stay faithful in a room full of hos?”
Good question, Kanye, good question… But luckily that isn’t a hard one to figure out: DON’T GO INTO A ROOM FULL OF HOS TO BEGIN WITH!
Here are other equally stupid things to do too if you’re trying to behave:
- Hanging out at a Mercedes dealership when you have the budget of a Kia
- Hanging out with people who hate money because eventually you will too (true fact, look it up)
- Going to bars if you’re trying to stay sober
- Going to the mall to “window shop” (who are you kidding??)*
- Watching *any show* on HGTV. But especially House Hunters International (desire’s a bitch!)
- Walking around fancy neighborhoods with fancy cars and fancy security guards**
- Hanging out with friends after 12 am (this one’s a bone I’m throwing for my friend’s dad who always likes to say that “nothing good happens after midnight with your boys” ;) I don’t quite agree with him, but I do like giving my friend a hard time.)
And the examples go on and on and on… just like a Taio Cruz song (look at me go with all these musical references!). So unless you plan on burying your wallets anytime soon, try your best to stay out of any sticky situations. Everything that kills you may make you feel alive (I’m looking at you, OneRepublic), but do your best to “keep it in your pants.”
You’ve got priorities to stick to, people – and they don’t involve gorging yourself with whoppers!!
PS: I promise more melodic references tomorrow… You’re welcome.
* I used to do that too. And now I save $200-$300 a month simply by NOT going into stores.
** I happen to get VERY motivated by this, but it’s easy to get caught up in “the dream” for all the wrong reasons. Like, for status.
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