I answer a lot of emails on this blog, but I gotta say – this guy wins the award for stumping me ;) How nice it would be to get paid for doing something we’re already supposed to be doing anyways! Imagine if we got paid to save or invest or even pay off debt?? (Oh wait… interest, 401(k) matches/compounding, interest again).
I don’t work out nearly as much myself as I want to, but if someone were dangling a Benjamin in my face you can bet your ass I’d be out that door before even finishing this post. Do you know how rich we’d all be if we solved such a dilemma come New Years??? We’d be swimming in money!
And this, dear readers, is why I bumped out my original post for you today and plugged in this spicy riddle instead. It’s the ultimate priority now and we must pull our resources together to make it happen STAT. You want to be swimming in piles of cash along with me, right? Be the younger, sexier version of Scrooge McDuck? It would make for a work out all in itself! (Wait a second…. are we onto something here??) I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but you’re not allowed off that computer until it’s worked out, kapish?
Here’s the email our reader friend sent in:
I would like to lose some weight but I loathe working out. I mean, really, there are better things in life to occupy my time. I’ve had plenty of physical adventures (hiked the Appalachian Trail, biked across the country) in which required physical activity, but there was always a goal attached to the “working out” part.
I home school my kids so I’m home many a day. You can imagine how sedative this lifestyle is. I have a bike on an indoor trainer but get so bored cycling in place. I’m not about to go spend money on a treadmill.
If I weren’t interested in managing money, I wouldn’t be reading your blog or writing for advice. So here is my thought. I would like to make money by losing weight. I’m goal oriented so there has to be an end game with money attached. Any ideas on how to start? Is there a way to sucker my insurance company somehow? Are there programs out there already?
What do you think? Am I just an undisciplined person?
I jest above in fun, but truth is – whoever can find a way to make money off something we all suck at deserves genius status right away. Anyone can make dough by utilizing their skills (*ahem* side hustling *ahem* cutting down bills), but earning some bucks off our shortfalls? That’s un-chartered waters, my friends. And while perhaps, yes, a clean bill of health is reward in itself for most people (I plead the 5th), it’s still something that needs to be solved whether financially rewarded or not.
I told Johnny B. Clever up there (that’s my pet name for him) that I don’t have a solution for him quite yet, but I did have a few youtube videos that help get me in action whenever I take the time to actually schedule it in. What we really need though is a way for babies to sleep all through the night and never get sick or cost a penny forever and ever and ever – pretty please?? I may or may not be half-delusional right now trying to type all this ou….zzzz…
This is the video that almost always does the trick:
You might remember it from my resolution last year to become more like an adult, and it’s apparently based off science and supposed to be just as good as “prolonged endurance training,” just in a shorter amount of time (it’s pretty intense covering 12 different exercises in 7 mins). I don’t know if it’s as good for losing weight as it is for just getting the heart rate pumping every day, but I read about it in The New York Times and get a kick out of telling people so just because it makes me feel smarter :)
The other videos I like to exercise to are from this dude, and I usually supplement the above w/ ’em.
None of this helps you make any money (although it also doesn’t cost you any either – they’re free!), but perhaps it would make it more fun to do? Listening to hip hop/crazy music and working out in short bursts of time? Trying not to die before the videos end are pretty goal-oriented enough for me – hah.
The only route I thought could be somewhat do-able is getting sponsored by a fitness company to blog/tweet/make videos/etc on behalf of them. But that would require not only having an audience to convince them enough to pay you, but also doing job-like stuff in the process. And if you think working out is hard enough already, try then sitting in front of a computer for hours afterwards telling all your followers about it! There’s plenty of other ways to make money faster, and usually for a lot more too…
I do have a way to *spend* money to help with motivation though ;) It’s called Stickk.com and you pretty much tell them where to send your money if you don’t do what you say you’re gonna do, haha… For example, you can have them send your money to a friend, to a charity, or – even better – an anti-charity (an organization you hate! Say, to the Republicans or Democrats!). They claim putting money on the line ups your chances of success by 3x and I totally believe it. Wouldn’t you follow through if you were being forced to support something that goes against your values?
After emailing Johnny B. all of these non-helpful tips above, he sent me back the following which I also got a lot of amusement out of:
Really, if you think about it Jenny Craig isn’t an inspiration. She is a business. A business that profits when I do all the work. Tell me exactly why should I be paying her to eat her food?. Ass backwards if you ask me. You want to make me part of your experiment, then pay me. BAM! And that goes for all the other weight loss boondoggles!
I can’t say I follow him there, haha, but it did remind me of a dissertation one of my friends forced upon me years ago on why car companies should be paying US for advertising their brands all over the place. His theory is that we already shell out thousands of dollars to purchase their vehicles off them, so why should we then be forced to advertise on their behalf *for free* wherever we drive?
He wanted to start a campaign to remove all logos from cars to make it more “fair” to us consumers. And if they wanted to continue branding their cars as-is, that would be fine provided they mailed us a check every month ;) So that’s a way to get paid just to drive! (See also: Uber/Lyft)
Anyways, back to the task at hand: How can we get paid to lose weight and stay motivated? What do you guys do for work outs and/or money gathering? Can’t we just combine the two? ;)
Yes we want to help our fellow reader Johnny B. here, but more importantly we want to
become filthy rich help all of mankind never have to mark “exercise more” on their NY’s Resolutions again. So if you don’t do it for him, do it for the rest of us! Harness that brain power of yours and let’s get to scheming!
PS: Later on the agenda: how to get paid to breathe, how to pay off your mortgages by sneezing, and my personal favorite – how to turn toilet deposits into savings deposits. You won’t want to miss it!
[Weird exercise photo by sanchom]
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