Sayings I wish were true

by J. Money - Published July 20, 2018

being made of money

Here are a bunch of financial phrases I wish were true, along with some that I’m glad are not.

If you ever wondered what I do on my spare time, this is it :)

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Being worth your weight in gold

At gold hovering around $1,240/oz currently, I’d be worth approximately $3,441,000!

Having a license to print money

Yes please!

Cash cow

That would be cool to see :)

Being born with a silver spoon in their mouth

Also fun to see!

A penny for your thoughts

I’d be rich as all I do these days is think and talk (…about nonsense)

Bringing home the bacon

Be honest – how much BETTER would this be than actual money?? :)

Being made of money

See smile up top.

Turning on a dime

I wonder if Olympians can do it?

A penny saved is a penny earned

With taxes this is not currently the case, but it’s much easier to say than “a penny saved is a penny and 1/3 earned – depending on your tax bracket” ;)

Rolling in the money

That would be fun!

Money talks, bullshit walks

I’d love to see either of the two happen, haha… particularly the latter.

Cooking the books

Not so tasty, but it would put a stop to the cheating!

The Dollar Store

Is it me, or does nothing in there ever cost a dollar anymore??

And while not financial… Liar liar pants on fire

Life would be so much easier if this actually came true – especially with our politicians!

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Sayings I’m glad are not true!

As much as I’d love to watch any of the above come true, if it means the following also happening then I take back every last word of it, haha…

Paying through your nose

Ouch!

Costing an arm and a leg

Double ouch!

Putting your money where your mouth is

Disgusting.

Being stinking rich

Why do you have to bring odor into it?? (Reminds me of one of our Would You Rathers though – “Would you rather be attractive as hell BUT you never make more than $30k a year for the rest of your life? Orrrrrrr, you’re pretty ugly BUT you’re as rich as Oprah Winfrey?”

Pouring money down the drain

Blasphemy!!

Having more money than sense

I wouldn’t have much ;)

Making a killing

Money is worthless when you GO TO JAIL FROM IT!!

Having money to burn

See: pouring money down the drain.

Your money or your life

Thankfully when you manage your finances well you never have to choose ;) Great book though!

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If I missed any good ones, you’ll have to let me know :)

I will say there’s one phrase that I’ve actually found useful throughout the years, which to my wife’s displeasure I like to recite whenever we leave the house: Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch!

Haven’t forgotten my wallet at home in a while!


Jay loves talking about money, collecting coins, blasting hip-hop, and hanging out with his three beautiful boys. You can check out all of his online projects at jmoney.biz. Thanks for reading the blog!

{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Petra July 20, 2018 at 7:41 am

Did you know that it’s “stinking rich”, because the rich people could afford to be buried INSIDE the church (underneath the church floor) and would thus stink up the church for a couple of years during deposition. (Blegh).

Poor people were buried outside and thus didn’t stink as much.

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2 J. Money July 20, 2018 at 7:57 am

Wha???? I did not know that – fascinating!! (and also disgusting!)

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3 Nancy July 20, 2018 at 8:11 am

J-
My dad ALWAYS recites “spectacles, testicles, wallet and keys” when leaving the house. Guess he never cared about the time! Shame he had two daughters, but we have boys who have picked up grandpa’s saying and delight in it!

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4 J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:01 am

Haha… your dad is my new favorite person :)

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5 Scott July 21, 2018 at 10:34 pm

I’d love to meet the guy that forgot his testicles at home.

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6 J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:08 am

That would be something :)

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7 Zach July 20, 2018 at 8:34 am

Money doesn’t grow on trees! — I wish it did.. I would have an orchard .

My job is in grocery retail and in a position that a few days a year, I literally bring home the bacon. Yesterday I brought home the panko. Today I will bring home the sunscreen.

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8 J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:02 am

Love it :)

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9 CrazyMomMcGee July 20, 2018 at 8:48 am

Nuns on the run! Lmao!!!

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10 Martinus July 20, 2018 at 9:19 am

Another one:

“If I had your money I’d throw mine away.”

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11 J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:09 am

Is that a saying? Haha…

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12 Martinus July 20, 2018 at 9:22 am

On the same topic (sort of) and on the lighter side, a song:

“If My Nose Was Running Money Honey (I’d Blow it all on You).”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0CAWT6Xfxc

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13 J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:10 am

Okay – that’s good :)

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14 Physician on FIRE July 20, 2018 at 9:28 am

“like flushing money down the toilet.” Hopefully starting with a fresh bowl.

I learned “Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch” to be a mnemonic to help people remember the sign of the cross from my Dad or Grandpa. I still recite it in my head sometimes, but I’m saying “to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit” out loud of course.

From Nuns on the Run (1990): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqXZ9YoRD50

Cheers!
-PoF

p.s. I don’t believe I’ve used the word “testicles” in a comment until this morning. Thank you for the opportunity.

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15 J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:12 am

I just heard that about the cross!! Where apparently people used to keep their wallets and watch in breast pockets so it matched where you do the sign – so fascinating…

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16 Megan July 20, 2018 at 9:48 am

As a woman who’s given birth: Born with a silver spoon in the mouth goes firmly in the “Sayings I’m Glad Are Not True” and “Ouch” categories.

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17 J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:12 am

Haha… true that.

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18 Michael July 20, 2018 at 10:18 am

These are awesome! Lol. A penny saved is not a penny earned for real! “Costing an arm and a leg” See J Coles video ATM lol.

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19 J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:54 am

Trippy!

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20 Chris @ Mindful Explorer July 20, 2018 at 10:31 am

LoL well there is a first for everything :)
Oh and I totally forgot about that movie, it was pretty funny back in the day.

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21 JoeHx July 20, 2018 at 10:38 am

I asked my brother once if he thought he’d ever be filthy rich.

He said he wasn’t sure, but he already had the filthy part down!

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22 J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:50 am

Classic :)

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23 Lily | The Frugal Gene July 20, 2018 at 10:40 am

Lol!!! Why the fudge are these so funny…esp the thankfully not true ones. Arm and a leg hahaha. I like not being stabbed repeatedly.

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24 SL July 20, 2018 at 2:51 pm

My dad used to say — probably because my mom got on him. — eyes, pants money, and keys. :)

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25 J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:15 am

Definitely not as fun, haha…

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26 Josh July 20, 2018 at 4:49 pm

Personally I check for the PKW every time I leave the house – Phone, Keys, Wallet.

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27 J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:16 am

Hah! That’s the name of Republic Wireless’ blog – PWK – for exactly that reason :)

https://pwk.republicwireless.com/

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28 Kim July 20, 2018 at 7:03 pm

Well if you’ve ever seen 45 in action then you’ve seen bullshit walk. Just my 2 cents.

And, thanks for the laughs today!

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29 Alaska49 July 21, 2018 at 4:55 am

My dad used to do/say the same thing…specticals….till my Mom got mad at him. We weren’t catholic, but Mom thought it was disrespectful.
Anyway, here is a funny bit from classic SNL about debt…enjoy.
https://vimeo.com/41152287

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30 J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:16 am

Haha yup – one of my favorites :)

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31 Scott July 21, 2018 at 10:44 pm

I’ve always wanted to swim (rolling is fine too) in money like Scrooge McDuck. I might love it more if I was bringing home the bacon too.

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32 Steveark July 22, 2018 at 7:11 pm

Well hey, thanks for making me do the calculation, I’m actually worth my weight in gold! I never knew that.

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33 J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:19 am

Too funny! And just about the only time where you actually want to weigh as much as you can, too :)

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34 Becky July 24, 2018 at 3:59 pm

So true about the Dollar store, it is never just a dollar! But we have a store around here called Dollar Tree, and literally everything in the store is a dollar (plus tax)! Of course the quality isn’t the best, but I bought a toothbrush cover, some flip flops to use in a public shower while camping and some other odds and ends. I got 8 things total, and my total was around $8.50.

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35 J. Money July 24, 2018 at 5:33 pm

I hope the Dollar Trees buy out all the Dollar Stores and make it easy on everyone from now on, haha…

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36 Devin July 27, 2018 at 6:33 pm

Very interesting post! Learning some new terms today :)

I really don’t like the term “Being stinking rich”. If people worked hard and accumulated wealth, why labeling them in such negative terms.

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37 J. Money July 30, 2018 at 9:41 am

#TRUTH

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38 Kevin July 31, 2018 at 7:03 am

Oh, this is priceless! Just when I needed a good laugh. The ‘ouch’ then ‘double ouch’ put me over the top laughing out load. Great post!

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