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(**If you’re sensitive to the nature of this matter, you should avert your eyes now.** But if you’re not, and you’ve always wondered how to get paid to donate sperm, you’re in for a real treat ;) This was sent in by Mike, a fellow blogger and reader, who wants people to know that not all side hustles always go as planned… Though at least he got to be famous on a blog for it! Tell us how it went down, Mike…)
Here’s How NOT to Get Paid Being a Sperm Donor…
It all started by applying with a company in New York City that specializes in fertility issues.
If anyone is considering doing this as a side-hustle, I feel that they should know exactly all the demanding procedures involved in the qualification process. I thought I could walk into the company’s office, sign a few papers, and start donating sperm to my heart’s content.
I was in for a rude awakening.
The program has a strict anonymity policy for donors, and any expression on social media about being a sperm donor is prohibited. For example, you can’t include any identifying information in your donor profile that can also be found online (e.g., pictures of yourself, descriptions of any physical attributes, posting your donor ID#, etc.). Also, you cannot confirm nor deny that you are a sperm donor with a company in New York City.
With that being said, here is what becoming a sperm donor entails.
- Be at least 5’9” tall.
- Have a bachelor’s degree from an accredited college or university.
- Be somewhere between ages 19-38 years old.
Step #1: The Application Process
Initially I had to provide the company with several sperm samples, as part of the application process. This meant commuting into the city, meeting with the donor receptionist, and *ahem*, you know, doing something into a little cup. I didn’t receive any compensation for this; however, the company did give me little perks (e.g., a $20 Amazon gift card) for submitting samples.
In addition to providing semen samples for analysis, I was also required to fill out an extensive family tree document that included information about my siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., as well as my family’s medical history. That document took about two days worth of research and digging into my family’s history to complete.
Step #2: Becoming an Acceptable Applicant
I eventually was deemed an acceptable applicant, and a donor coordinator then provided me with an orientation to the program (i.e., a general welcome presentation). I was compensated $60 for completing the donor profile and making an “initial donation.”
The company checked out all my information, provided me with a donor ID#, and entered me into their system as a conditionally qualified sperm donor. That meant that I would soon be making money through my sperm donations. This was about three months after initially applying.
Step #3: Being Seen by a Licensed Physician
The next step was to be seen by a licensed physician, and I was compensated $50 for getting a physical (turn your head and cough sort of thing). The company then asked me to provide another sperm sample, which acted as my first “retainable specimen” for the company.
(Note: I had already provided 4 or 5 specimens for them up to this point)
That day I also gave a blood sample to the company, and spent approximately 90 minutes filling out and reviewing a Medical Social Questionnaire. Though at least I was finally getting paid some real money for my efforts, as I was compensated $125.
Furthermore, to become a fully qualified sperm donor it takes approximately two to three more months to complete the rest of the screening procedures.
Before I divulge this qualification process information, here’s what being a conditionally qualified sperm donor entails:
- Donate at least once per week, up to three times per week
- Abstain from ejaculation(s) for 24-48 hrs between each donation
- Make enough to fill two small vials to satisfy an “acceptable donation” (and get paid $125)
- Provide urine analysis once per month, which is used for STD testing.
Step #4: The Psych Evaluation
Once I reached the conditionally qualified phase, things began to run more smoothly as I would be compensated the full amount for donations. Additionally, all applicants have to submit to a psychological evaluation with a psychologist affiliated with the company in New York City. This is another day spent trekking into the city on my own dime.
It’s pertinent to mention the travel costs associated with the application process too. I spent approximately $180 on train tickets and random meals getting to all these various appointments.
The psych eval is just as extensive in itself. I was grilled for two hours about my behavior, attitudes, and life experiences, and was also asked to complete an additional 300-item questionnaire! Then the doctor asked me more questions about my life based upon the answers I submitted to her survey. It turned out to be a disaster, and ultimately I “didn’t pass” the psych eval.
So, after six months of going through this entire application process, in the end I was sent home packing. I never reached the fully qualified stage, and ended up sinking a lot of effort and time into something that eventually became fruitless.
If you think this is a viable side-hustle, let me give you my numbers from the whole endeavor. And keep in mind, again, that getting to the phase where I was compensated the full $125 per sperm donation took about five-six months from the time I initially applied.
In total I was paid $460 from the company, spent $180 on train tickets and food in the city, and then ended up shelling out another $407 to remove a virus from my laptop that was probably the result of watching too much porn (which included a $251 repair fee, and two years of anit-virus software for protecting my network).
All together, that means I netted -$127 after almost half a year of my life. Womp Womp.
So, If someone is really serious about becoming a sperm donor, be aware of exactly how thorough the screening process is, and how much effort you have to put into schlepping into the city and filling out BS medical history forms! You’re gonna have to be in it for the long haul, and need to decide if it’s really worth it for you because the road to being able to donate regularly is anything but smooth. #FML
Daaang, sucks man! But appreciate you sharing! You guys can find Mike at his own blog, theRideShareLove.com, too btw. Where hopefully it’s going better ;) (Update: blog has since been shut down, d’oh.)
Anyone here have any SUCCESS in doing this? Anyone brave enough to tell us? If so, we’d love to hear from you in the comments… I know it can be quite profitable since you’re ALWAYS hearing about this on every last “ways to earn money” list, but who knew the process was so involved?
PS: If this hustle doesn’t turn you on (get it? Turn you on?? Cuz we’re talking about sperm? Sigh…) check out our entire list of 60+ ways to make money on the side… Something for everyone there!
[Mug up top by WitticismsRus, and also for sale @ Etsy ;)]