An American businessman was standing at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

"How long it took you to catch them?" The American asked.
"Only a little while." The Mexican replied.

"Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" The American then asked.
"I have enough to support my family's immediate needs." The Mexican said.

"But," The American then asked, "What do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds you buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats."

"Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own can factory. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will all this take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, senor?"

The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO (Initial Public Offering) and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions, senor? Then what?"

The American said slowly, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos...."

Labels: financial forwards, life

How about another financial forward Friday? We deserve a break from all that hard work and number crunching this week.

Plus, I really couldn't keep this one in much longer - it had me cracking up! 2 weeks of sitting in my inbox was enough ;) And as always, it came from my dad where most of the others did. (I wonder if he knows i post these up?) Please to enjoy:

10 Signs the Economy Really IS That Bad.

1. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
2. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
3. Hot wheels and Matchbox cars are now trading higher than GM cars!
4. McDonalds is selling the quarter -ouncer.
5. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
6. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
7. People in Africa are donating money to Americans.
8. Motel Six won't leave the light on. (hah! my personal fave)
9. The Mafia is laying off judges.
10. When bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds" you have to call the bank and ask if they meant you or them.

Oh how sad, yet true some of these are...but not to worry, one day we'll all forget about this and go back to the spend thrift ways we've all grown up with! Hooray! (note to self: when this day comes, re-post every crazy economy article back onto this site to remind people that Financial management is important and not to be stupid again!)

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Other financial forwards you may like:
The Financial Crisis Explained via Beer & Puke Bonds
Warren Buffett = The Man...Or Possibly 100 of Them
Wow, Walmart is as Big as My Johnson!

Labels: awesomely awesome, crazy economy, financial forwards

Just when I thought my email forwards were drying up, I come across this gem! Courtesy of my beautiful Aunt, sister of the infamous forwarder of Wal-Mart is as Big as My Johnson, and Warren Buffett = The Man. I guess it runs in the family ;)

So here it is folks - the lay person's explanation of the global financial meltdown that us common folk can relate to! It may be a little late in the making, but it sure does make sense. So pull up a chair (the one you're "working" at right now), grab your mocha chocolate double dipped sugar-free espresso, and get ready to learn something:

Derivative Markets: An Understandable Explanation.

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics- to drink now but pay later.

She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around about Heidi's drink now pay later marketing strategy and as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar and soon she has the largest sale volume for any bar in Detroit. By providing her customers' freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on security markets worldwide. Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really just the debts of unemployed alcoholics.

Nevertheless, their prices continuously climb, and the securities become the top-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses. Then one day, although the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the bank (subsequently fired due to his negativity), decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar!

Heidi demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed, they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Therefore, Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. Both DRINKBOND and ALKIBOND drop in price by 90%. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%. The decreased bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing any new loans.

The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment extensions and having invested in the securities, are faced with writing off her debt and losing over 80% on her bonds. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off fifty workers. The bank and brokerage houses are saved by the Government following the dramatic round-the-clock negotiations by leaders from both political parties. The funds required for this bailout are obtained by a tax that is levied on employed middle-class nondrinkers.

Finally an explanation that we can all understand...

Labels: awesomely awesome, crazy economy, financial forwards

As we all have come to know, Warren Buffett is a P.I.M.P. He can out-invest you, out-donate you, and even out-school you any day of the week. But *why* is that?

Does he drink a fancy potion every morning at 5a.m.? Is he related to both Chuck Norris AND Jack Bauer? Unfortunately I don't know. But what I DO know is that he lives a simple life, with some pretty simple rules.

I base this conclusion on an email forwarded by none other than the guy who inspired the Wal-Mart is huge as my Johnson post - my dad. Amongst the old-man jokes and viral beer commercials, he does tend to slip in a few nuggets of info. every now and then (probably to see if i'm paying attention). So today's post is based off a powerpoint slide he sent over that was "supposedly" inspired from a one hour interview by CNBC. My google skills couldn't find this alleged interview, but it really doesn't matter anyways as it's the lessons here that are really important. You can check out the pretty pictures & slideshow here, or just read the stripped down points here:

1. He bought his 1st share at age 11, and he regrets he started too late!
2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
3. He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5. He initially resisted traveling by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
7. He has given the CEOs only two rules: #1 - Do not lose any of your shareholders' money. #2 - Do not forget rule #1. (rule #3: fight club is Awesome!)
8. He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some popcorn and watch tv.
9. Warren Buffett does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk. (WHAT? crazy!)
10. Warren initially didn't think he had anything in common w/ Bill Gates. He scheduled his first meeting with him for only half an hour, but when they met, the meeting lasted for 10 hours!
11. His advice to young people: "Stay away from credit cards & bank loans, and invest in yourself." He also had the following to add:
    a) Money doesn't create man, but it is the man who created money
    b) Live your life as simply as possible.
    c) Don't do what others say - listen to them, but do what you feel good doing.
    d) Don't follow brand names; just wear those things in which you feel comfortable.
    e) Don't waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on those things you really need.

Again, the point isn't whether all this is 100% fact (you can read his profile on wikipedia), but that you can become wealthy if you follow some pretty simple rules! Live below your means, invest early, don't listen to everyone all the time, don't go in debt, and don't blow your money on fancy-pants stuff (or on fancy pants).

If you can master just a few of these you'll be a LOT better off financially.For me, I've been trying to do the "live below your means" one and so far so good. In fact, I'm pretty sure I have some friends who think I make minimum wage ;) But that's okay! All that matters is how I feel about it, and what I want out of life (Mrs. Budgetsaresexy included, ofcourse). It's not always gonna be easy, but I guarantee you it'll always be financially sexy!

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Here's another cool Bio on Mr. Buffett by WideOpenWallet.com

Labels: advice, awesomely awesome, financial forwards, money management, Warren Buffett

Too much? Sorry, feeling a bit feisty today ;) You know how us guys are. Seriously though, Wal-Mart is HUGE!!!! I just got this email forwarded over to me by my father who LOVES sending over this sorta stuff (do you find that yours does the same?) and I thought it was pretty interesting if it's indeed true. It not be *accurate* but it's still awesome.

Regardless, companies like Wal-Mart and the like interest me like crazy. The logistics to run such a place is insane! I can barely run myself, and that's on a good day ;) And to bring in SO MUCH freakin' money every single day? Whew - that's one helluva juggernaut. Business-wise I think they're pretty incredible.

But I'll still continue to do my shopping at Target (or Tarjay as we like to call it). I think Wal-Mart has some incredible offers & sales going on, but I always prefer to shop in cleanliness & at a place where everyone smiles and actually seems like they WANT to help you. I'd happily pay a few extra dollars to shop in a visually appealing, stress-free, atmosphere any day. $hit, sometimes I run into Target for something simple & end up enjoying myself for an extra 30-40 minutes! But I digress...

Labels: cockamamy indeed, financial forwards, randomness 3000