What up what up! And welcome to the first post of a new series I like to call “WTF Wednesdays.” Now you might be thinking to yourself, “WTF are WTF Wednesdays?” If so, allow me to enlighten you.
WTF Wednesdays will be dedicated to the random, the wacky, or the straight up weird stuff that people do (or that’s done to them) – all in some way related to money of course.
Today’s tidbit was inspired by the unfortunate occurrence of our car failing to start in our driveway one morning. And in case you were wondering – yup, the whole fam was packed up in the car at the time, babies and car seats and snacks and toys and all. Luckily we managed a fairly smooth transfer of all that into my
pimpmobile 93 caddy and were able to be on our way, but it was my experience in the auto parts store later that day that really got my “WTF” juices going.
The super nice sales guy, Steve, was helping me pick out a shiny new battery for our bum car when I happened to notice an empty packet of air fresheners on the counter. When I asked him what they were doing there, Steve said that someone had actually stolen the air fresheners out of the package.
Stolen air fresheners?? I mean, really, WTF?! Out of all the things to steal out of an auto store, the 3 dollar air fresheners are what you decide to lift? Who knows, maybe someone was recreating the classic elevator scene from “Tommy Boy” and air fresheners weren’t in the budget. Whatever the case, it got me wondering about what other random things people steal out of stores.
I put the question to my wife, who told me she saw recently in CVS that someone had stolen two hair barrettes out of a package of 10 or so. Must’ve been a hair emergency! Or maybe someone needed to pick a lock and those barrettes were the perfect size for the job? A theft to pull off a bigger theft!
My friend Dave relayed to me a time when he went to grab some applesauce from the grocery store and noticed one of the individual cups was missing. One cup of applesauce. I can only imagine some hungry assembly line worker slurping down some applesauce in the middle of her shift – because who else would do that?!
My best guess is that the thrill of the 5-finger discount must be what motivates a lot of these super low-scale thieves – but that they’re too chicken (or just plain bad at stealing) to go for bigger things. But, man, all I know is that I’d be CRAZY embarrassed to get busted not just for shoplifting, but for shoplifting something that costs roughly the same amount as lost change on the street.
How about you guys? Any juicy WTF stories about stolen goods that you’ve encountered??
PS: This post was written by my wife pretending to be me :) Did she fool you? She thought perhaps being too grammatically correct may have given it away, haha… All true stories up there though, and we’re for real gonna do some WTF Wednesdays on here too. A lot of people do a lot of stupid stuff (myself included) and this’ll be our place to have some fun with it.
PPS: People who steal are lame.
UPDATE: My wife just got back from grocery shopping and realized she inadvertently stole two baby jars hiding in the cart! How’s that for timing? :) She assures me she went back and paid for them… Uh-huh…
[Bee-otch freshener by jquiz]