I caught that on the radio this morning and almost swerved my car off the road, haha..
We’ve talked about financial STDs here in the past, but I always thought it was just a made up thing that someone more clever than me conjured up – but no, it’s apparently “a thing!”
I missed the full discussion on air because it cut to commercials like a big ol’ tease, but a quick Google search shortly thereafter cured the itch no problem (pardon the pun):
Sexually Transmitted Debt is where one person in a relationship becomes responsible for their partner’s financial debts usually after being convinced or misled into taking on debt in their own name, sharing the responsibility, or taking on more risk than they knew about.
Yikes… Gotta own up on that stuff and take care of your biz, come on now! Can’t be pawning off your problems to those who love you!
So that’s the first thing to watch out for tonight. If your Valentine tries sweet talking you into cosigning a car loan under the candlelight dinner, grab your food and run :)
If they behave and keep their loans to themselves, I’ve come up with a handful of other great questions to ask them tonight so you know exactly what you’re dealing with… No jumping into bed with each others’ finances until they’re fully
#1: “Do you budget?” If yes – 90% of the coast is clear, continue forward!
#2: “Do you want to split an appetizer, Lady and The Tramp-style?” If they’re up for it, good – they appreciate some easy savings. If not, keep a close eye on that wallet…
#3: “Do you know what FIRE means?” This is a trick question because only $$$ nerds will know what it is, but it’s a quick way to see how much work you’re going to have to put into this relationship if it continues forward ;)
#4: “What do you think about these following $$$ tips?” Whip out your note card and start rattling them off, but pause enough in between to make sure they have enough time to marinate on (yes, this requires bringing a note card to dinner, but I promise you it’s worth it because THIS IS YOUR FINANCIAL LIFE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT!!)
- “Every time you make a dollar, save a dime”
- “Round up all your bills so you pay off more each month”
- “Open a savings account at a different bank to make it harder to take out money whenever you really “need” it”
- “Stash away every $5 bill you receive”
- “If you can’t buy two of it, you can’t buy it at all” (<– my favorite)
- “Never buy a wallet that costs more than the money you have in it”
If they nod for 4 out of the 6, the coast is clear. If they don’t, blame it on BuzzFeed where I snatched these from, and then feign an “emergency” real quick and get the hell out of there.
And then of course, the great equalizer – #5: “Do you read Budgets Are Sexy?” If yes, marry them on the spot!! They are PERFECT! If not and/or they snort wine up their nose because they find the name hilarious (because it is), slowly pace backwards until you reach the back door and then Forrest Gump it on outta there… I don’t care how good they are with their money, snorting wine is not sexy.
There are a lot of things to watch out for in a compatible partner, but we all know money ranks #1 ;) They pass this test tonight and you’re 100% in the clear – congratulations! If you never make it to dessert, well, load this blog back up when you get home and marathon binge on the archives until you drift off peacefully at the keyboard.
It may not be the best date you’ve ever had, but hey – at least we have each other! And most importantly, we’re STD free – woo!
Jay loves talking about money, collecting coins, blasting hip-hop, and hanging out with his three beautiful boys. You can check out all of his online projects at jmoney.biz. Thanks for reading the blog!