“I will listen to your complaints twice.”

by J. Money -

listening to complaints

Morning!

Was talking to a friend the other day on how people love to complain about things but never do anything about ’em, and he hit me with a convo he used to have with his employees back in the corporate days:

I will listen to your complaints twice.

Once right now, and one more time later.

And then it’s done or solved, and you can’t complain to me about it again.

BOOM!!!

That’ll stop you in your tracks! Haha…

But I love it for a number of reasons. First, it gives you some clear expectations right off the bat, but secondly – and more importantly – it RESHAPES the convo from something not very helpful to something ACTION ORIENTED! All the while still giving you a grace period to bitch one more time while you’re searching for solutions :)

Such a good mentality, and something I think we could ALL use a healthy dose of in our lives. Especially when it comes to money.

How many times do we love to complain about all the debt we have or how we’re “always poor”? Or that we suck at hitting budgets/promotions/goals/general life plans?

I know I do it! And I literally just became a millionaire!!

But while some of these complaints are legit, it also doesn’t help much putting negative energy out there when it can be processed in a much healthier way. Maybe we allow ourselves to whine only once, and then try hard to squash the second one and think of my good friend here?? How much better would our worlds be if everyone decided to do this?? All social media platforms would cease to exist!!! Haha…

I also think it gets easier when we stop to *appreciate* just how far we’ve come in this world. Both in our personal and our financial lives. You’ll be hard pressed to find someone better off 10 or 20 years ago than they are now (and if so – they had some major changes in their life and are allowed to complain!!), but by and large most of us will find we’ve made leaps and bounds and life isn’t quite as bad as we often make it out to be. And honestly, I don’t think it’ll ever be *perfect* because life isn’t perfect! Whether you have a billion dollars or a hundred dollars to your name.

So while we can’t always help *thinking* negatively, we can at least stop the negativity from coming out of our mouth. And maybe even get a little done towards our goals too by directing all that energy – imagine that?! :)

If all else fails, try putting out a “complaint” jar, haha… Similar to a “swear” jar, except you throw in $1.00 every time you complain instead of curse. I did it yearrrrrs ago for Lent once and improved my thoughts by at least 80% – no joke. The hardest part was literally just *catching* myself before the words came out! Once you get that down the rest is easy. (And then you have a nice pile of cash from the jar to amp your goals too, haha…)

Anyways, food for thought today… If you know anyone who could use this message and want to slyly forward it over to them, I won’t tell anyone! Good friends are great, but good friends who don’t bitch 24×7 are even better. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

XOXO,

j. money signature

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kevin September 12, 2019 at 7:26 am

Great article as always. Love the “action-oriented” part and how we should do the same in our financial lives.

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2 J. Money September 12, 2019 at 7:28 am

Glad you enjoyed it, man :)

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3 DarleneN September 12, 2019 at 9:13 am

This is brilliant and so true. I love the negative thoughts jar. Problem is if I set one out for my husband at the moment we may literally go broke and have to raid it for groceries and rent.

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4 J. Money September 12, 2019 at 9:31 am

I guarantee it cuts out his bitches by a least 50% :)

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5 Ramona September 12, 2019 at 10:24 am

I always tell people to look back at least 5 years and see where they are right now. Of course we are struggling, this is life, but most of the poeple are way better off now that before. It’s an excellent exercise for us all.

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6 J. Money September 12, 2019 at 10:44 am

TRUTH.

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7 Molly September 12, 2019 at 10:39 am

I don’t know. This only works for problems that can be dealt with or tolerated on your own. But I can think of lots of times where it’s unfortunately necessary to keep bringing up an issue because someone else isn’t doing their part to solve it, and it isn’t tolerable. If you’re a boss or teacher or parent or other authority figure, you can’t reasonably restrict people’s ability to bring up problems.

If you replace “complaining” with “venting,” I’m onboard, though.

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8 J. Money September 12, 2019 at 12:24 pm

Very true that some people drain you more than others…

I’ll try my best to just keep it in my head after I’ve said my peace, but you’re right it gets trickier when you’re an authoritative figure. Though at least you get to make the rules and the consequences! Then it’s up to them to listen or not ;)

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9 Chickenwizard's DivBlog September 12, 2019 at 5:44 pm

So true.
I had a friend in college that complained and whined about a girlfriend that left him for someone else and moved. Could not get over it the last 6 months of his senior year. Our friends named his behavior a disease – Brouillardian Syndrome.

A few months later when I graduated and leaving my g/f in school, she broke up with me for another student. I complained for about 3 days. One of my buddies stopped me and said, “Dude, you have Brouillardian Syndrome”…..

I immediately did a 180 with my attitude.

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10 J. Money September 13, 2019 at 7:25 am

Haha…

Was Brouillardi her last name or did y’all go French on it?

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11 Chickenwizard's DivBlog September 13, 2019 at 3:37 pm

Brouillard was the original whiners’ name..

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12 Ed Fi September 12, 2019 at 10:12 pm

I love this because it’s so solution focused. I may need to integrate this with my leadership team! I don’t mind complaints, but I can’t stand wallowing. Acknowledge challenges, then get about fixing them.

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13 J. Money September 13, 2019 at 7:25 am

At least wallowing is quieter, haha…

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14 Kevin Vesga September 12, 2019 at 10:50 pm

“You’ll be hard pressed to find someone worse off 10 or 20 years ago than they are now (and if so – they had some major changes in their life and are allowed to complain!!),”

Shouldn’t that say “better off 10 or 20 years ago”? You wouldn’t be complaining if you are better now than in the past.

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15 J. Money September 13, 2019 at 7:37 am

Yup – good catch!! Thank you!

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16 Taylor September 18, 2019 at 1:16 pm

What do you define as a complaint?? My husband and I have a difference of opinion of what’s complaining and what’s making an observation haha

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17 J. Money September 19, 2019 at 10:04 am

Complaints come with “ughs” and *sighs* and emotional changes in their voice, whereas observations are more like facts being said out loud :) Also – you only make observations *once*!

(Had to marinate on this for a good 20 mins btw…. such a good question – hadn’t ever thought about it before!)

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