[Sup y’all! Please enjoy this fun little ditty by resident blogger Lance who likes to stop by any time he thinks we need a quick kick in the ass ;) You might remember him from our Financial Confessional Series or perhaps his beautiful classifieds around Valentine’s Day. He’s got no shortage of opinions!]
Ever have a friend or co-worker that emotionally drains you every single time they’re around? The second they come through that door you just cringe and pray they don’t come sit by you and start a conversation? Yet for some reason we continually put up with it?
That is debt.
Instead of cringing at the sight, the world has taught us that debt doesn’t really hurt us and that we should in fact embrace it like a kind friend who is helping us get what we deserve. Then later when the bill comes, that same kind friend surprise attacks you right in your financial back with a dull rusty knife.
What Debt Should Truly Look and Feel Like
Have you ever hit a skunk while driving on the road? I never have, but I’ve seen a few dead ones and I’ve smelled even more heading down the highway.
Debt is like hitting one of those skunks on the road, stopping your car, picking it up and licking it to see if it’s still alive, then putting it on your lap and taking it to work with you and then back home where you place it on your pillow and spoon with it all night long.
Debt is a stink that doesn’t go away, yet we’re so willing to incorporate it in to every aspect of our lives!
How can something that seems so normal… be so wrong?
How can something feel so good up front… then penalize us so harshly in the end?
Here’s a poem for you. Print it out and put it in to your wallet to remind you just how two-faced debt is:
“An Ode to Debt – How It Loves You and Hates You”
Debt is a neighbor that borrows your tools and never gives them back.
Debt is a soft comfortable blanket that makes you feel so good, only to discover when you get up you are covered in cat hair.
Debt is a friend that visits every day and consistently kicks you in the crotch as you just lay there smiling on the ground saying, “that’s okay, see you tomorrow.”
Debt invites you to go out to dinner on their dime but forgets their wallet.
Debt is your other neighbor who asks for help to move, and then when you show up has nothing packed or ready to go and expects you to do most of the work for them.
Debt is your boss that tells you you’re in line for a huge promotion and raise that you excitedly tell to your family about, only to see your boss leave the company the next week and the new boss give you the pink slip.
Debt is your sister-in-law who borrows your Redbox and says she’ll take it back before 9 pm and then doesn’t return it for 31 days.
Debt is your buddy who asks to drive your new car and then jumps the curb.
Debt is your fiancee who leaves you standing at the alter.
Debt is your child who decides to use your bathroom to take a dump right before you planned to take a nice long bath.
Debt is your air conditioner that breaks down on the first 100 degree day of the year.
Debt’s brother is the air conditioner repairman who says it’s going to cost way more than he originally quoted you, then tacks on five extra days while he “waits for the parts to arrive.”
Debt sleeps with your spouse, and on the way out of your house asks if you want to play golf the next day.
Tell me again, why do we love debt so much?
Lance is a former blogger who loves talking about money, but hates running a blog. We’ve given him a spot here anytime he has something juicy to say ;) You can find him on Twitter @Lance_Finance.
Other Posts from Lance:
- You’re Hot, But Your Finances Are Not!
- Financial Confessions: “I Became So Obsessed With Being Rich That I’m Now Sitting in Prison”